Motivated

Today i have a renewed sense of motivation. I don't know where it stems from, but i feel free and forward thinking.

Thank you universe for allowing me the power to stand my ground and reinforce that although i might sound crazy to some people, the way i feel is right on for me.

Get OVER yourself.

I have offered over and over again to assist you in anyway. We all need people to care about us. You looking down your nose at someone who is offering you their love and compassion makes you a selfish idiot and a fool.

Yea Jekyll and Hyde, I am talking to you. Get a grip... its going to be fine. It just isn't as pretty as it may have been in the past, but its just a blip in the long road of life. And the blessing is, it makes you appreciate more what you had doesn't it? Learn to be grateful, not hateful.

I completely care, but thats insignificant to you it seems. When you decide that my compassion and worth is special, you give me a jingle. Maybe I'll answer the phone, maybe i will ignore you, like you ignore me... most likely I will be there for you with a smile, a hug and a day out just enjoying life. Because I believe in you. 

We are all human. We all make mistakes and find ourselves broke down on the side of the road. People stop to help you, give you a hand, pull you up and dust you off so you can walk with your head held high. Pity parties are for pussies. Snap out of it man.

xo

Date

you know, I had a date a while ago... a real date. I think my last real, "man pays for it and we talk" date must have been in December.

I have asked myself a thousand questions about how remaining single is the best. How to show gratitude and remain positive about my current situation. I know that most times in my life I chose the lesser of two evils upon being with someone or breaking up with them. I have always been the sort to stick around too long in waiting for someone to be there for me, like I have been for them. This time frame has grown shorter and shorter as life continues to roll out in front of me.

Universe, I am grateful to have deep beautiful feelings that will someday be shared with another kindred spirit. Someone that laughs easily, loves music and isn't afraid to trust again. Someone that I can nurture and spend time with staring at the ocean or just taking a walk. An artist, craftsman, creative type that follows a beat similar to mine. Someone that is fearless about taking the path less likely and coming up to the top of the hill with positive and affirmative emotions. Someone willing to take the extra step all relationships require. Someone that will share the burden of pain we will each face in our individual lives. A union that was started deep in each of our souls before we met and grows further upon our becoming one. A man, a friend and a lover.

yea. its time. I haven't had one like ever so, I hope my impatience can settle down and allow.  BUT gotta have a date first... learn to talk to one another. lets get this party STARTED~!!!

Inventory

So, I have been thinking about all of my life. Taking "inventory" of all my experiences... and realized that I am a wealth of varied experiences!!!

Oh you wouldn't even believe the places I have been. I haven't been a world traveler as such, but I have been a lot of places and seen a few things. I would LOVE to go more places and have a feeling that is in my near future... woohoo!!!

First I have to get past this hurdle I am facing, but its not an unsurmountable one. Its just a few miles away, so I am walking towards it.

be my guide, be my companion, be my friend. but baby? be there... its no fun alone. xo

NO more rooom mates.

After what I have been through with this person who is not capable of being an adult... NO more... I am done. Seems she is going to continue to try and take advantage of me. I am pulling out the big guns.

Now I just need a little muscle to assist me with the intimidation end of things... whose up for a week stay at chez Melanie? Intimidation ONLY of course.... payment is free meals and massages!

No more WHININ

Cuz really? all it does is piss me off. From other people too! I have noticed a rise in my frustration levels... Thats only because I can see the future and its taking too long to get here! OH, and some kind of planetary "trine" was wonking me up yesterday too...

not to mention the hell of no real intimacy for what seems like a LIFETIME! sheesh. Whats a girl got to do to get some LUVIN!? lol... they say, don't want it so much.

what do they know... giggle. oh shaite. NO MORE WHINING from this point.. Ty for listening.

Test

Universe, I have put up with the men you have sent me to be healed, and nurtured.  I have been more than patient and devoted. I have been battered, beaten and yelled at... I am in need of a healing relationship with a man. I am incapable of feeling disconnected from people I connect deeply with. I feel love and show that love to whomever is close... all we have in this life that is worthwhile is love.

And Universe? Please don't send me anymore men that fuck with my emotions, mess with my head by making false promises or say they want to but dont ever make time to be with me or get to know me.... my heart is weary, my mind has been fucked with LONG enough. Maybe just send me money, so I can sit and fish all day in my house by the ocean with my kid.

And send me useful work... seems thats all I am worthy of in this lifetime, and thats not a bad thing. I don't want to want anyone anymore... thats all. Take that desire and put it in a box until its useful again.

because today? its just not.

Attention

here and now... here and now.. be FEARLESS!!!

How do I look?

Sometimes I need a person here to inform me how an outfit looks. I can't always trust my son's judgement. or the mirrors!

Urban Dictionary

Who just found it? That would be me.

There are definitions on there... yup! AND i found one for Melanie: well a bunch really but this one i decided to share.

Melanie	69 up, 23 down
	a beautiful girl. melanies are too perfect for words. they always have perfect hair. typically melanies are sweeter than sugar and envied by all. they're the ultimate girls. if you get a melanie, never let her go. it will be the worst mistake of your life, because she'll be the best you can ever get. I wish I was Melanie..." "Don't we all? giggle... maybe!

NO matter

No matter how self absorbed you become in your day to day moments, I believe in you.
No matter how selfish you are in your communication with me, I believe in you.
No matter how your avoidance of me makes me feel physically unattractive, I believe in you.
No matter what other people say about your actions, I believe in you.
No matter who or what you choose in this life, I believe in you.

Life isn't easy, but it doesn't have to be hard either, unless you choose to make it so. You can't blame me for your choices because you haven't chosen me, yet. We have a lot to learn about each other before we are going to be allowed to move forward. Please lets get on with it ok?

I don't mind not being your choice (well i do, but it wont kill me and i wont sit still sulking about it), but you are stalling both our futures with your indecision to get connected and stick with it or move past it. Get on your horse and RIDE dude! The next party is waiting your arrival and you are frackin TARDY and for some reason I am supposed to be your date.. this is BORING me.

Day in & Day out...

Gratitiude. I am trying to fit that word into my mouth today and it is tasting bittersweet. I hope to move past this quickly, and maybe moving my body around would help!!

Two more weeks.. two more weeks... two more weeks... please give me a piece of candy until this cancer is cut out from my living space.

A good song...

Kishi Bashi

I found Manchester... by Kishi Bashi...

The lyrics are beautiful, and the sound mix reminds me of some kind of homecoming. Talent is an amazing discovery at any turn.

Don't you cherish creativity? Its the true expression of passion and thoughts in motion. MORE and more and more please!!!!

Counselor, Friend

Today I had the privilege to help out a friend with conversation. Counseling and feedback. I love her and wish her the best as she is one of the few people in this world that I immediately connected with on a deep level.

Randolph was another. Steve K. from college, Wilene, Donald, Kat, wow, not many others! Life is joyous. Embrace!

Paris

Hello My Paris friend that reads my blog so religiously. I appreciate your watching my space. Pipe up and say hi sometime...

I would love to know you. thanks for making me feel validated, no matter! <3


turns out you could be a "bot"... strange though as you access specific posts... hm.

Friend

some of the truest words ever spoken. the ideas that others have about you aren't based on who you are. don't base your opinion of yourself on their misconceptions of you. 

"Whatever people think of you is really about the image they have of you, and that image isn't you." ~ Don Miguel Ruiz


remember this baby. always. 

This Idea

I got some GOOD feedback on my idea yesterday. VERY good feedback. I am going to start doing some more research. I think I know what it is I am looking for, and now is the time to really get this moving forward.

So, research includes going to LA to look at some products, talking to some bike makers, and really getting down to what materials would be best to produce this.

Safety is an issue as well. The real deal will be the "accessories"... oh yea. I hope you come on board. It sure will be FUN to brainstorm with you. Might be all that ever happens between us, but our minds are similar so, that will WORK for me. boooyea!

Feelings

i have them. deeply. for you. and your pushing me away. i will live. i wont be as happy about it, but I will live. i was hoping you would be the hansel to come and pick up gretel's heart, bandage it up and treat it with kindness.

I guess some candy wouldn't hurt.

Our Dream

We were vacationing somewhere cold. I looked out the window, and the mountains were covered in snow. You and I were snuggled up in bed, and enjoying the warmth of each other. yea. naked n stuff...

It was a great dream, but i woke up sad, because I realized it was a dream. Satisfied in one way, but sad in another way.

Happy monday all you lovers out there! Be grateful to have that person in your life, every minute. No matter the frustration it beats the "lonelies".

Buried alive

I had an awful dream last night that some negative evil energy was being placed upon people and they were burying themselves alive without knowing it... Mass suicide of people squirming their way into the ground screaming then they were gone.

i have an idea what that is about too... but not going to say it here. I am just going to do a little meditation on it, and move on. Its not my issue but if I can help I am THERE! always there.. just reach for it.

namaste.

blowing a breeze your way.

I think of you often and remember you smiling so keep that part of your energy going babe... :D

Pain is temporary, scars heal.

I have been hurt by most of my previous relationships. I can't say that any of my relationships were one sided in the cause of things NOT working, but the balance was sometimes off as I would always make up for what I thought was lacking by ignoring my desires and give in to the needs of others.

As I have survived these war torn love arenas, there are a few things I have learned. Life is too short to lock myself up in the pain of the past, and judge everyone else based on what HAS happened... Each moment is an opportunity to know somethings CAN and WILL be different this time because I am different now. I can choose differently based on what I am wanting. No judgement, no expectations, no blaming that person for the pain someone else caused me. Learning to trust again as deeply as I can. My eyes are opened and my heart feels ready to trust in someone again and find that permanent relationship I have always wanted.

I am at a point in my life where I want to spend time getting to know someone. Taking time to feel comfortable in trusting another person to regard me in honor as I would them. And to laugh and play! Just allow us to be ourselves and grow toward intimacy that makes us glow from the inside. I have met someone that I connect with deeply, as this person is always on my mind.  Placed in front of me is yet another learning curve, a place where I have found someone that makes me think, is there a chance for more in a way I haven't had before? Someone that intrigues me mentally, physically and emotionally and fits with my quirky nature. I send him little notes of encouragement and trust him to smile when he sees my words. Maybe he feels it too, maybe not. He has to make his own decisions based on his previous experiences, and his choices of what he wants in his life, and learning to trust his inner voice to guide him to where he wants to be.

Analyzing the outside world is a mute point, but for arguments sake, lets explore the influences. My friend tells me to let you go that you don't respect me or have any care for me. My soul says, where did that deep connection come from? past life? My spirit says, he is hurting and needs your help to smile again. My heart says, wow, look at that! Thats so shiny and it makes me smile when I think of it. I want to touch it again. I wonder if he will come out and play anytime soon? All I really want is time to figure it all out and have fun in doing so. I want "him" to join me in that thought. relaxed, open, laughing, smiling, breathing, and being, nothing more for now, moment to moment smile to smile.

SO, plan of action? Trust the process. Open my side of dialogue, trust my inner voice even if everyone else says I am wrong. My inner voice knows what is right like NO ONE else does. I am more than capable of having everything I want and reaching for it is a GREAT adventure! Anytime I find myself in a negative place, I will remember that this moment is temporary, fleeting, and I will be moving past it quickly. Remind myself, that when I get to the next stop I don't want to show up with a frown on my face! I want to greet that person with a smile, a kind vision of possibility, hope and an open heart.

wow, pretty deep for a tuesday. I think I will lay back down for a bit... maybe on the beach!

Feelings

There isn't much to know or tell
about how i landed in your well
i think i tripped and then i fell
into your pit of burning hell

huh?

wow, someday, hope. Ours.

Seems like there's always someone who disapproves
they'll judge it like they know about me and you
and the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do
they jury's out, but my choice is you

So don't you worry your pretty little mind
People throw rocks at things that shine
and life makes love look hard
the stakes are high
the waters rough
but this love is ours

you never know what people have up their sleeves
ghosts from your past gonna jump out at me
lurking int he shadows with their lip gloss smiles
but i don't care, cause right now youre mine

and you'll say, don't you worry your pretty little mind
people throw rocks at things that shine
and life makes love look hard
the stakes are high
the waters rough
but this love is ours

Being Brave

They say confession is good for the soul. Turns out they are oh so right. I felt lighter and more at ease once I laid out the truth.

And thankfully I am blessed he was laughing and smiling when it all got washed out. ty dear randolph! xo

Silence is painful

There are times when you connect with someone. A person who opens up to you without inhibition. They say the things they want you to hear. Unsure of why they are opening, unsure of where its going,  not knowing that all these steps are destined to make our lives sweeter with each tone. And then? the cone of silence. Where do they go?

This has happened to me often online. I am reminded by people to seek out where it is that I am stopping this flow. There are others that say to me, its not you at all. I wish that I could get off this merry go round.

I feel like walking out in front of a bus today, that would end all the pain your silence has caused me. But unfortunately the world wouldn't benefit from my death, and so another day in pain it is.

Blessed are those that have a depth of feeling they aren't afraid to share. I am one that is so blessed. May my other come to rescue my heart from this drenched hell of nothing ness and silence, and we can sing together.

let me find you dear. open the window and listen for my song!

Spring Fever!

I want to run and roll in the green flowery fields of spring! Enjoy some time frolicking with another and just being alive. NO heavy conversation, NO lies, NO denials, NO hidden agendas, NO lists, NO competition, just me and my mate wishing hoping and playing as one. guess I have to find him first huh?

I got a "free reading" from a psychic last night via my new boss Nancy Seagal. Seems that I am destined to be alone until I can "clear my chakras" and get grounded. SO, along with all the OTHER stuff I need to do in my life, parenting, school, working, dieting, working out, SPRING CLEANING, saving my ass from sabotaging my daily opportunities to grow, i get to add that to my list.

sleep? gotta wait till i am DEAD!!! boooo yea! hello dark circle under eye concealer! you are my NEW best friend! 

giggle... 

more of the same

I really really need to focus on myself. you have taken up way too much of my valuable time with your wishy washy words of promise that lead to an empty hole of desire.

later chewbacca.

Buddha ROCKS!

"Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned." 


---Buddha

Trust

Can I? Will i? There is an issue there. Its historical. Its biological. Its not you darlin its me. Have faith in me love. Send me your positive energies, and believe its all going to be ok.

I need you to be strong for me, beside me in spirit, while I rebuild a part of myself that is historically shadowed with distrust. Thats my challenge and you are my muse.

Thanks for being here for me. As I will be for you in return.

Namaste.

Meditation Time

My Tues/Thurs AM Let it Go Yoga classes with jean, Make My WEEK!

its the hour and a few mins that allow me to really sink into meditation and let myself sink deep into my body. Feel whats going on. I can actually stop thinking way too much and allow myself to flow with what is inside me.

And if you know me at ALL? Thats not an easy thing for me to do. Yet anyway. My goal this year is to learn to let go more stop letting my brain try to run out of control and trust my gut more. I think I am finally getting help from the universe on that one.

Papa-OOM-mauw-mauw. Haven't you heard?

CHUM!

OMG an old high school chum I probably haven't seen in 10 years is camping near me. So, I am going to head out there to hug him and catch up with what he is doing.

More l8tr... woohoo!

A New Day

Plans to do something new!!!! So excited. Its time to start writing that book I have been talking about. Outline set up, questions answered. I have a list of other moms I would like to poll, so thats in the works before summer as well. Also, I am going to be working with someone new that I am hoping to be learning some healing arts from!

In addition to the outside news, I have been painting again, and that feels awesome!!!! Now, I need to get the finances in order so I can get that guitar and start performing again.

Rockin and a rollin in april of 2012. A new beginning!

thought for the day: I am not interested in making myself someone you would like to see, I am interested in making myself someone I want to be. chicka bow wow!!!

just forget it.

I just don't think I should date anymore.. forget it. I think I will just sing and make art instead.

Send me some canvas universe, so that I may create things in my own light and these visions will light up someone else's life. Also send a new acoustic guitar, and a bicycles. I need to ride and to sing.

Its coming up on summer and I want to look like an unobtainable goddess. And feel like one too.

Music

so sometimes I ask a question of the universe and wait to hear the first number that enters my head, and pick a card from touchdrawing.com soul card gallery. This card has come up for over a week now. I need to get out my guitar and start playing again, huh? 

Pondering

I am here. I spent much too time yesterday wondering why and how and where and what... etc. The time i waste thinking other than doing is starting to annoy me. There are some days when I want a "cruise director".. Here is your list of tasks. please complete them.

After a lovely conversation with a dear friend, I felt a bit more enlightened. She directed me down a path that may help me focus my energy. One goal, and the rest is play, but even play time is to be scheduled for me, or i will sit and ponder, dream, sit up on the hill and question the reasons life is the way it is. How to help others realize their paths with ease.

Yea i REALLY need a cheerleader/cruise director/motivator/bedpartner/sexslave no wait.. giggle...

Friends... just be there if i ask for your help. Its just a bit of a nudge  now and again. I wont ask you to build me a pyramid, just open your third eye and give me a little bit of united energy.

Thanks for playing! here is your gift... xooxooxoxoxo

Poetry = Dreamers Kiss 2005

My lips are moist with 
the lucious anticipation of 
your breath against them 
the taste of desire awaits 


in a dream i call to them 
reaching out to touch yours 
with fingertips light as a breeze 
soft caress against your warm sigh 


to sing a song with mine 
a song my heart keeps writing 
words into the air are alive 
your soul sings this song with me. 


i want to hear the words 
your lips sing along with mine 
together as our eyes meet in time 
opening doors that seal our tomorrows 


painted and perfect waiting in the garden 
catching the smile that melts the cold 
never wanting it to be and yet i know 
if it doesn't, my life is incomplete. 


you woke me in the morning of the night 
whispering in my ear from so far away. 
taking my dreams to you and setting fire 
to the desires we both deny to be real. 


let us be for now, let us be forever 
let us be us for ourselves and smile 
our lips so close our breath is stilled 
waiting for the perfect moment to sing. 


a song our dreamers kiss unites 
our lives bound in wisdom beyond our souls 
how do we catch our words or speak them 
tell me my sweet soul. i rely on your vision 


unspoken and true. alive and real 
waiting to see what your eyes tell me 
how mine respond to them alike 
how mine respond in kind. in kind... 


its a dreamers kiss that stands here 
a kiss responding outside boundaries 
making itself alive in my blood. 
it will not die until passed between us.

climbing a ladder

Very intense dreams last night, or this morning I should say. I wish I could remember them all, but here is a small part of one.

I was with a group of people, and I was chosen to be amongst the group to meet a very important spiritual leader, almost like a god in many peoples eyes. I crossed a stream of water up a grassy hill, to a level ground in front of an old house that looked condemned. I stood in line with all men, I was the only woman there at that moment. I was hugged and offered greetings by the workers keeping the people in line moving towards the "spiritual one". One by one they walked up to this figure and had an exchange of words, or embraces, then they would walk back down the hill. While i stood there, I heard rumors that every once in a while, someone would be condemned to go into the house (which basically represented hell). Immediately my thought went to, OH wow!!! so thats why I am here... I am the only woman and was randomly chosen before crossing the stream to this place.

Sure enough I walked up to the leader and he said to me, "There is no personal or justifiable reason why, but you have been chosen to enter the house. It is a test of course to see if you can handle hell."
Me: "Yea I assumed being the only woman in line, that I was being singled out for some reason."
Idol/leader: "Don't worry things aren't always as they appear."

I nodded and resigned myself to entering the building, expecting the other side being gloomy and dark and full of bullets/guns and stuff. I walked in and the interior looked like it had been burnt out.. lots of burnt wood laying around and a semi burnt structure. In the middle of this room was a ladder leading up to another level, it seemed light up there.. I was being forced by two men with guns to climb up this ladder. Once I got to the top of it, I entered a "play room". It was a huge loft area with games, and easels and paints, sewing machines, etc. There were people up there smiling and having a wonderful time creating things. I thought, Well now I know what hell is... having to do the same thing as other people! This is heaven!

A very interesting dream. I am wondering how to infuse all that into my brain today! fun.

OK so, Lauri, Dream Interpretor, had me call into her show today and do a reading about this dream! Seems the spirits, or self, is guiding me to pursue my creative talents and make a go of it. Thanks Lauri!

Dr Kim

I love my Dr.... She is the best... I will be happy to have insurance again to be able to go to her office when I need to. She is a wonderful human and a DOCTOR!!!

yea Dr. Kim!!!!! mwah.

Rude

You know, maybe its just me but the world is becoming RUDER by the moment... I can't tell you how many times I send messages without any response whatsoever.. and this isn't just one person... its like everyone!!!!

I miss texans. yep. Californians Some Californians are rude.

CRIKEY

Damn this world is full of GATORS! take your teeth outta my ASS white boy!

sigh... i need chainmail... yep... what are the odds of it being fashionable anytime soon????

Ze Phone

Tonight I had an actual conversation on the phone with an old friend! Just a platonic conversation catching up on old times. It was nice actually to share time like that. It sure beats texting your friends. Speaking in person is also less likely to be misinterpreted than texting!

and an even bigger bonus? Hearing the other persons voice in your ear, and the sexy vibrations it produces.  yea. hey babe, call me!

Show me

The more I try to connect to people, romantically, the worse it gets... sigh.

That aspect is not disheartening, the feeling of being alone is. The knowledge that in this life no one has fit the balance of me. Where is that zing to my zang? the right to my left, and left to my right? I thought I found you. It felt right! I thought you felt it too. Maybe you do/did, but your lack of communication isn't a key to any door that I might be able open and find to you.

The sad reality of humans is we rely on words to get what we want, no matter. Whether we mean them or not. Some people use words to hurt others, some to help, some just to obtain what they want for that minute. There isn't an investment in the integrity of word choices for some people. Today one of those people resurfaced into my realm... Sadly I wish him nothing but evil thoughts... and feel stupid for believing anything he ever said in the first place. A road down to the self doubt kiosk. Take a number, because at one point or another everyone in my life has triggered me to doubt myself, as I have lived in self doubt for many many years!

Ok, I think I have a solution!!! Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the most super fabulous person that never doubts herself at all???? yea. mellifluous magical mermaid-like me. Just keep swimming... :whistle:

Sea Turtle (animal totems)

Someone in my life that reminds me of a turtle... so hence I put up an animal totem blog entry. What do you think yours is? do they vary between relationships? its an interesting study, accuracy? that depends upon your belief system ultimately doesn't it? Fun to think about none the less. away we go!

Those with the turtle as their animal totem can relate to the "sure and steady" message this creature brings to our lives. It is also a powerful totem for protection as withdrawing into it's shell is an amazing self defense mechanism. The turtle has few predators, which gives it an innocent energy. This also increases its lifespan, and so holds the symbolic meaning for longevity in many cultures.

Animal symbolism of the turtle includes:

• Order • Creation • Patience • Strength • Stability • Longevity • Innocence • Endurance • Protection

Because of its seemingly wide-eyed, long-lived, carefree attitude the turtle is often thought to be the wisest of souls among the animal kingdom. We would all do well to take this as a lesson and move at our own pace as the turtle does. Furthermore, the turtle takes its wisdom one day at a time - not reacting, simply accepting and moving on in its naturel methods.  

In China and Japan, the turtle is a symbol for longevity. In Asian myth the turtle represents the cosmic order: Its shell is symbolic of the heavens, Its body symbolic of the earth, Its underside represents the underworld.

Now for my totem as portrayed in the classical tortoise and hare story. Jessica Rabbit: (lol)

Rabbit: (Ogham=Gorse) As Celtic Animal Symbols, rabbits are connected with the moon an so they run full circle with her cycles. They also share connections of femininity and fertility - which are also lunar-based attributes. When the hare hops into your awareness, its time to set your mind of matters of reproduction. Hang on gentlemen, it doesn't necessarily mean physical birth. The rabbit talks to us about conception, conceiving new ideas and holding them in our fertil minds and hearts until they are ready to give birth in their own perfect timing (just as the moon would have it). And rabbits produce new life in such a humble way. There is no drama, rather there is a quaint, simple calming way the rabbit goes about offering her new offspring. We can offer our new life (in all its hues) with trust, faith and assurance too. ( ok WOW... thats REALLY interesting)

The hummingbird  is a more accurate summary of my spirit. 

The most profound questions the hummingbird asks is:

Where is your Joy?

Is your happiness found within or do you seek it externally?

What is the source of your joy?

What must you do to increase your joy?

Well doll? What do you need to do to increase your joy? Hiding in your shell is a good way to reflect and renew but its joy is limited in the darkness of one man's spirit. get on out here and flit amongst the flowers and fauna with me! SPRING has SPRUNG!

Personality by Advertisement

My Biz 101 instructor gave us an extra credit assignment this weekend. Why wouldn't you do an extra credit assignment right? So you want to know what it is? huh? do ya do ya? Ok FINE! *giggle*


Pick up a magazine, flip through it, pick out an advertisement. 
Who is the target market? (Use methods of segmentation discussed from text)
How was the product positioned?
What stage of the product life cycle is the product in?
Was this advertisement effective?


So I chose the ragtagpaperwaster, Vanity Fair. I had a copy with the "royal couple" on the cover. I don't do magazines, this one must have been picked up on a trip somewhere or from my mom or sister who are read-a-holic's... I flipped through it and guess what I found that stood out to me... Bottled Water (2 separate brands) Ozarka & SmartWater, 2 hugely different marketing approaches. Ozarka's slogan was "Born Better"; SmartWater "Smart because it’s made that way”.


I did my analysis, including the target market for Vanity Fair starting it out. As you can imagine, the demographic for Vanity Fair is geared for the sexy (Jennifer Aniston), naked, contrived, B&W, classic backwards s style marketing approach of the SmartWater ad much more than the our planet, au-natural, go green, locally sourced approach of Ozarka. I thought it was a pure stroke of genius to select these two separate ads pushing a product we basically don't need to buy in the first place. 


Does marketing sell products people? DAYUM tootin.... and you are the fish waiting for the bait. My instructor at the end of class yesterday said to us, "Now, I want you to think about the ads you chose because it directly relates to who you are. Your selection says something about you as a consumer."

Dude, REALLY? I am a bipolar, skeptical, appreciating all art forms, price unfettered, educated consumer. BIPOLAR... did you catch that? sigh. did anyone else do two ads? decisions decisions.. always two half's to each agenda and you gotta make a choice. I choose to daly between two worlds and enjoy each just a little bit.

Devil or angel, who you gonna be today? mwha hahahahaa!!!!!

Focus

Focusing on the self is near impossible for me sometimes. I mean i sure do take advantage of situations when I can, but a lot of my energies are spent on making sure others lives are in balance or getting to them what they want or need.

Top of the list would be all my boyfriends in the past 15 years, and now its my son. I could go on to make a long long list, but there is no the point in that. I did the things I wanted to for the people i loved, thats the real point. The issue with that is I end up depleting my energies and not enough is left for taking care of me.  And what energy I have left i don't exert very wisely!!!!

I think I don't want a man that takes care of me so much, as that may make me uncomfortable. A man that could take care of himself? That would be better. But a man that is willing and assertive enough to put forth  efforts and ambitions so we both win? That is the prime directive!!!! Team work with someone makes life so much sweeter. Finding people you can lean on while you journey through lifes struggles is the real deal. 

Perfection is the moment when you see the glow of accomplishment in your partners eyes, knowing you both were a part of making the whole a little better. Moment to moment, living and working together to make it all worthwhile. 

SEE??? I already lost focus on me! Time to try writing stories... Because just maybe getting all the dialogue out of my head would help me stay in the moment of focusing on MY LIFE. 

HI~

miss me? maybe not and thats ok!  hell maybe you never will... and thats ok too...  all in life is as it should be, and the lessons we take away from it give us more color to our beautiful character.

leaving you love notes here. huggles my little sea turtle... come out of your shell soon! miss you.

Room for Rent

Yes. I rented a room. I don't think that was such a good idea. I did it to save my butt financially. Little did I know it would turn into a lesson of patience and passive aggressive awareness training. She sleeps all day and wanders around at night like a bull in a china shop. Right now she is sitting in a chair in the living room meditating. Sheesh. I haven't lost this much sleep since the child was an infant. That's not good for my crabby mcattitude.

Thankfully, I remain emtionally detached and uninvolved with the roommate. There has been theft of belongings and subversive "borrowing". All of which leaves my son scared and me calmly waiting to lower the boom and give her the boot.

Working on creating income to cover her share and then some. This is my year!

No matter where you go, there you are.

You walked into the party... like you were walking onto a yacht... lol The day i met you, i was really still sort of blown away that you contacted me in the first place. Then you finally agreed to meet me, we met at my apartment...

I had just gotten out of the shower, and wasn't quite "made up" when you were already here! I am guessing you were excited. I know I was. And even more so when I saw your face light up and smile. I felt relaxed and happy that you were finally here and we were meeting. The conversation flowed like we had known each other a long time. And a lot in common, then the first kiss... sigh... magical! then you left... you commented on something that is now in your possession.

I had to walk away for now. Your not feeling it, or something and I am not taking it well... i could get hurt very easily here, and I am not sure you realize that... yet. I miss your sweet smile but not at the expense of my own and I wander.

Grumpy

Hm.. maybe I am grumpy! that really isn't fun for me either... i have a headache most days. no matter what I try to move towards there is a NO involved before i get there. And when I do get there, its in need of repair or restoration. Once that process is through I am left holding the tools and the car has taken off in a different direction.

FRACK.

Positive thinking and I are in a boat with holes in it and as much as I bail and bail and bail, the negative is filling up the boat.

The Me Chorus

I would absolutely LOVE to be in a relationship with someone... but not just anyone. I talk about needing sex, and yea I do... but not at the expense of something I would prefer more and that is companionship with a person that really gets me, sees me and hopes for the best for me.

I think for now, I remain unattached and free to focus on a passion that may bring me a future. Or even just sitting and drawing or making something artistic to soothe my soul from the long journey through countless war torn fields of relationships past that has left me feeling dispassionate and questioning that love even exists on the level I seek.

Ah.. the years of being single aren't so bad. Loneliness isn't brought about by being alone. Loneliness isn't about isolation. I have felt lonely while in a relationship too... So, objective? Inner peace... I hope theres a warm fire on a beach there... the sound of the waves always brings me peace...

There isn't any question of my love for you, its just time to love me more.

Good Morning

Man... Rollin in the hay sounds like a PLAN today... bring it baby! I need some skin on skin time. Whose up for it? Bueller?????

sigh... Oh well... dreams can come true I am told. Still waiting on you to decide if I am worth it!

The Men in My Life

Hello Men... the ones I have loved, will love and am in love with currently. Remember that despite the fact I seem all tough and calm on the outside? I have a huge creamy center... mushy, soft and sweet.

When you treat me with disregard, its like burning your favorite cookie in the oven then hoping its going to taste the same as the last one did. The more you disregard the treatment of it, the more bitter the flavor. My body may be a wonderland, sadly its attached to a mighty big brain and an even bigger heart... if you stick a pin in it, that shit deflates and you are left with a flat line. Then you have to resuscitate something you may not have been that interested in to begin with.

This isn't just true for me. I am not typical of my gender and thats not a bragging right. It sometimes puts me in situations with men I would love to be involved with that aren't looking out for anyones interests but their own.. oh wait, that describes most of you except for my dad... my buddy anthony C. (and a couple others) and my kid, which technically isn't his fault.

Walking on to the next rest stop... hopefully there will be life there waiting to reciprocate some really great times together, with communication and affections!!!

yea. I love life.. Life is GOOD.

My Day

Another year around the sun. Today I celebrate by taking a test in class, then a free massage, maybe even a pedicure!! Then a night out with my friends for some SUSHI!!!!

I look forward to another year of growth as a human. This years challenges are going to be of a "health related" nature. As we get older our bodies require more maintenance... BOTHER!!!

I just wanted to place here a note of gratitude to my parents for giving me life and sustaining that life financially and emotionally for all my years here on this globe! I LOVE YOU GUYS! without you some of my favorite people wouldn't exist, my siblings and my son.

Lets get out there and make it count everyday. Today I get to do it with "birthday" attitude. oh yea!

Resistance

A friend of mine is in a huge amount of pain. huge... debilitating pain. This is a physical issue for her. She is going to get the usual battery of tests/mri/evaluations etc. But, when do you get to the point of realizing that part of all pain is emotionally based? Not just mind over matter, things that you have been holding inside you all your life, since childhood. Things that have created havoc all along and you aren't awake to them yet. I say this because it has happened with me. Different areas of the body that hold my emotional baggage. Currently its my intestines! (i should really go find out what Louise says thats all about).

The emotions we all try to deny are in our minds and hearts. Continued avoidance of them will be exhibited in physical manifestations guaranteed. You can resist it all you want to, or kill it with your poison of choice, but don't be fooled. All that resistance isn't buying you time or serving your dream, its building up a facade, adding time on the other side in the form of recovery.

BREATH... Do some yoga... center yourself and listen to what your body is saying. With continued practice you can and will hear the whispers and moans of your being inside your head and heart. Change is all life is about, so learn and be grateful how wonderful it is to update your emotional wardrobe and expose the true you.

Date Material...

So whats wrong with me? Do I look like chopped livah?? I guess I don't know what men find attractive anymore. Seriously... Will I allow myself to be used in order to have some kind of affection or sensual life? And the men that ACT interested, is it only an act? What the hell do you have to do to get LAID in this town? sigh... frackin frackity frack frackenstein cheese and CRACKERS and SALAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!

pout. MAYBE its just me... and that would REALLY suck... now I am sad... I think I will go hit the gym and work out some frustrations.

Amazing things happen all the time

You know they do! Its awesome... I am so happy for someone right now...  Just want to say thank you universe and bestow my gratitude for continued generosity and positive changes. Now whose turn is it? Oh yea MY TURN!

chicka bow chicka bow wow... oh yea.. my turn.... Hallelujah... beat the drums yea.

I'm in a store and I'm SINGING

SIGH... another week closer to the anniversary of the day I was spit out upon this god forsaken sphere of doom!!!! (giggle)

meh I am a happy soul! I say, why be gloomy when there is a sky overhead, earth below, ocean within walking distance, and a kid that puts a smile on my face reminding me to understand that life can be  magical. You have to allow it. Sadly and silently and a-lonely (ha i made that up) I have realized I wont be allowed to participate in some peoples lives. Its still hard for me when I see that bright light shimmering between two people and they can't or wont appreciate it for the simple thing it is, or the promise and potential of what it COULD be! How one little step towards joining these forces opens up a world of influence not just for the two people but for ANYONE that comes in contact with that team. It really can be a ripple effect IF you allow it without judgement or agenda (yea I got my issues with agenda too).

There were moments in my past where I thought was very close to that but since then I have realized it just wasn't right. I am happy to have learned that and know what it is I am looking for! There isn't an agenda for any person that comes into my life (friend or lover), but I do know that it requires someone willing to take risks in their lives. We can only grow stronger by joining forces and forging ahead to transform our lives and in beautiful chorus, the lives of others we touch on a daily basis. Negativity (or lack of positive thinking) is a deep dark soul sucking hole that gives you a false sense of security and allows you self indulgence in spades... it also provides you with pathetic brief momentary relationships that suck out even MORE life out of your soul. Dont create or reach for a dream from that place. Turn on your light and don't be afraid of what you see there. Life is transition at all times. Pick up your little pieces of shit you don't like, toss them in the bin, and put the ones you do like on the wall as sign posts or guides to where you WANT to go.

Hello? companion? are you hearing my siren song? I kinda keep singing it at the TOP OF MY LUNGS... maybe I should roll the driver window down.. (giggle)

I care, therefore I do

My friends never have to wonder what I think about their presence in my life, nor the affections I have for them. But sometimes, you spend time to shower them with affection and attention and they shit on ya!  Life is a series of lessons I thought I had already learned, and accomplishing tasks that dont always turn out like I thought they would. 

People, even when bad things happen, you have to be grateful as they put you in a place to realize how good you have had it! and you need to express that gratitude as it FREES you for better things to come. Gratitude for negative things implants the desires, the seeds of growth to give you the assurance of joy to come. This game of life is all a balancing act my friends... and if you sit on your end of the see saw with your feet on the ground you are leaving someone else hanging in mid air WAITING on your sorry ass to get over it and push off. 

So that being metaphorically beaten to death, I think I will take this current pile of shit that someone left here for me and plant some daisies... because at this point? Daisies are much more appealing. 

Maybe I need a dog. Dogs communicate with pure love and appreciation immediately no words necessary! You have to love any creature that freely expresses gratitude no matter the situation, or condition of their own lives. The expression of joy in the moment is all we really have to be hopeful for, and a choice that we can make at ANY time despite any condition in life. Well, there is one other thing to look forward to, besos.. muy besos.


Communication isn't commitment, its acknowledgment in a form we HUMANS have become accustomed to using when working within these confines of a physical body. Try it. OR you cold train the world how to pick up and talk to each other using telepathic abilities!!!! Now THAT would really help things out, but take a bite out of conventional methods of transferring info. 




OH and Happy Birthday to my friend R