Tacos with the Ex

I had a dream about the man I almost married last night. We were on a trip somewhere and stopped to eat tacos at his brothers place. Strange but good interaction. I felt all over the place... There was a horse in the dream! Totally infatuated with me, and followed me around in the bathroom of a friends house where I was attending a meeting. Shower in the closet. Floral green fabric.

Dredging up the Past. TACO!

I thought I had lost my old blog to the cybernet stalkers, but found it! I am going to republish some old posts. Today's post was from Saturday June 4th, 2005

enjoy.

taco stand guy

So another tragic tale of the lonely spinster. I am going to get cheap gross tacos for dinner cuz i am too depressed to cook. I had stopped at the convenience store, 2 blocks from my house for some conveniences. Forgot to put on my seat belt as i drove off. The highwy patrolman was soooo nice when he gave me the ticket. Which begs the age old question: Why do we need to be regulated to death? Moving on to tacos....

I go 2 more blocks to the Taco Hut...not its real name. I refuse to say in order to maintain my facade of a gourmet eater. Driv up to the menu board. This voice that asks me what i want is mezmorizing. i stammer through an order with some witty white girl banter. Get up to the window, and there is this kid with these gorgeous eyes and the VOICE... i try to remain detached as i am still stewing over the ticket from cute ass in uniform, and drive off thinking...OUCH~ this dry patch better end soon. You know that is evident when the minimum wage guys are lookin good. Really good. stop.

can anyone come to the rescue!? ARG!

Saturday, June 4th, 2005

The Wind and the Wall

Opening the door
letting the breeze in
learning each time I do,
the bits get scattered

the wind is talking
taking what it wants
moving it to where it should be
rushing past me in a vortex

knowing the weakness of doubt
that it brings to my heart
my brain becomes splattered
colors against the idea wall

more useless energy spent
piecing all the colors together
the basket of inception keeps filling
honest intentions spilling out

you were good at spotting me
you were right to say it was so
I am not here for the decisions
I am here for the now and then

riding the wave of joy into the future
letting that carry the love of it to me
washing away the useless collage of sorrow
your eyes in my mind soothing this vision

I am working on me
working on being free
let it be baby, let it be
it all lies in our hands

waves of the universe
keep the current strong
allow me to see what it is
give me your strength to let go.

and be free. to breathe. to love. me.