There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love,
but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be.
Pearl S. Buck

Friday, July 31

A COVID Life - Episode 2 - Distance Learning

Just who is Raising whom Here? - AWiB

THREE WEEKS UNTIL SCHOOL STARTS: Distance Learning. 

So where were you when the pandemic struck you as 'reality'? Mine was the message, 'We are sending the kids home. No more in-class education." As a freelancer, self-employed single mother, I sort of sank. "Hello, homeschooling - goodbye budget and peaceful working from home." 

Energetically its a drain, because the hours I was able to work, became a myriad of multitasking. Instead of admin work, I am doing more cooking, cleaning, or spending time as a Sargent, in addition, twice the domestic work! And those of you lucky enough to have another sibling to distract the child, just remember to be thankful.  

To be fair, I am not a freelancer by choice, but so very grateful to be so at this point in life. The decision was a result of undesirable employment in the corporate world, having ADHD, and knowing what my visions meant were for me to break out and use my unique perspective to help others. 

And even though my initial thought of a shut down was "ugg", I now see it as a bonus we are both learning from home. The release from a mandated schedule, including my son's need for transportation to and from the school, has truly benefited my intellectual property. His academic courses following the shut down started around 10 am at the earliest. As an ADHD teenage male who sleeps in as LONG as possible, the later start time provided a more engaged interest in his classes. In turn, this provided me more time to learn or work in the early morning before the rise and shine of the sole heir of our small kingdom! Another added bonus is this will also benefit my clients because I am learning technology on a pc (son) and updating my skillset (an Adobe Junkie). I have absorbed so much knowledge that I was unaware of until my clever child started asking me, searching, and then sharing the solutions on his own. BONUS results - these interactions have also lead us into more intellectual conversations. In the long run, I am hoping this will transition into a semi-working relationship collaborating on video editing and YouTube productions. 

And now, heading into the six-month extension of a pandemic world, we will have a new registration routine, and distance learning continues. I am hoping for a more rigid school schedule moving forward so we can have some sort of routine, and chore list updated to the level of his capabilities. Personal financial planning is going to be a part of our education levels this year, as he enters his senior year of High School. 

Isn't it amazing that a total shut down has given so much to some and taken away so much from others? We all are juggling the reality of staying safe, keeping our families together through technology, finding matching masks to any outfit, and learning new ways to conduct our business or work routines. Don't forget in order to grow, somethings have to die, be trimmed off and make way for you to feed the new tributaries.. you know like plants. Let go of what you think things should 'be like' and let them be what they are changing into. 

Today's encouraging story comes from my own child: He is currently a part-time dog walker. Fun right? I got a call from him during one of his walks. 

Mom: "Are you ok?"
Son: " Mom I need your help."
Mom: "ARE YOU OK??"
Son: "MOM, YES. This woman fell out of her wheelchair!"
Mom: "Did you try to pick her up?"
Son: "Mom, I can't do it myself. The dog runs if I let him go."
Mom: "I am on my way."

I arrived with the dog's owner, she held the animal, We lifted the very confused woman into her chair. She wasn't hurt and in a very safe neighborhood two blocks from the hospital. She had money and water and her desire was to scoot to her next destination. The kid was halfway through his walk and said, "I will meet you at home!"

If my son is an indicator of what people can do in a pandemic despite the fear of infection, I think we are gonna survive this thing JUST fine. Staying strong and adapting your life, business, and attitude knowing that anything is possible - and if you need help just ask for it. 

MM-2020


Thursday, July 23

A COVID LIFE - Begins


Monday, I was on the phone with a friend, or was it Wednesday? I actually think it was Tuesday.  Sigh. Without a rigid work or school schedule, it's difficult to keep track of during COVID. I reached out to discuss some thoughts with her about a situation I am navigating. During my voice mail, I stated, "This is a result of living 'A COVID Life'." Then I started pondering, "What does that mean? How much has it altered or shown up with work and in my personal life? Should I document it via my own voice and art?" As a result, this series was coined... "A COVID Life" - a biweekly or even daily account of my life during COVID 19 times. 

The idea hasn't been completely fettered out, but it will contain random stories from my neighborhood, around the country, around the world, and largely, my own free-range weirdness. Images taken during these times of how we cope will also be included. Images I gather from online I feel that give us insight into what is happening. And some personal art of mine, that may define how I see and perceive the changes. Of course, we will be wanting to hear what people say and how others are coping.

Overall this is a historical common man/woman collection of this huge paradigm shift we are the middle of, and the new ways we are learning to socialize, work, educate, and live! (ZOOM ZOOM!!!)

Mystery Science Theater 3000 – IFC

Episode One: Noticing a personal, random, and terrifying reality.

The actor walked across the scene, and as I watched this, he stated something like, 'Let's go inside.' Upon which I added, "We need to be sexy in another location." This is one of those aha moments when you say, to yourself,  "OMG! I said that out loud? What am I doing with my life?"  Obviously, I am ANNOYED (and amused) at the amount of time I talk to inanimate objects, and/or the films and various series I am watching while in quarantine. It's a bit terrifying to be laughing at myself more than getting freaked out by this. 

It is almost like I have come to the 'Mystery Science Theater 3000' portion of my life being so bored by bad scripting and dialogue that is prevalent in American film/tv, I verbally rewrite the active dialogue. And technically I am NOT a writer for a living, but who knows? This is could be the start of a whole new career for me! I think I need a robot. 

~ Stay tuned to "A COVID Life" for more.~

Monday, July 13

Medicine woman



MEDICINE WOMAN
goddess
maven
mermaid
witch
warrior
alchemist

I am mother earth
a medicine woman
making multiple connections
through air, water, earth, and spirit
I am the healing presence
A network that has many veins

Without fanfare or malice
intention placed on just being
I live this balance consistently
To breath in and absorb existence
Becoming, creating, connecting
fibers are woven above and below

the heart is the core
driven by an infinite power
easily damaged, easily repaired
protected and supported in a network
we are molded together
finding zen in a creative process

Focus on what matters
Healing
Giving
Receiving
Expanding
Growing. 

mm © 2020

For my art journaling class... needs some work still. 

Thursday, July 9

Persecution

Padma Mudra For Reconnecting With Your Inner Light - SOLANCHA

If you grow up under constant scrutiny, found guilty even if you aren't, persecuted just for being who you are, how could you not be conditioned to feel or react in defensive ways? It's no question that you would have suspicion or hate. Its given you would follow as your community collaborates, feeling union with needs that are required to exit this state of hate and persecution! The needs required to balance the scales and become equally placed within the world community. This situation is not a threat, its an opportunity. An opportunity to listen, learn and educate yourself to the pain you aren't suffering, but witness daily. No matter what you feel about who you could be... its always good to see yourself through the eyes of others, and keep refining what your goals are towards true enlightenment. 

Unconditional truths and love are what we require to heal any relations issues. Understanding the energy and terroristic lifestyle that maybe another's path to climb to their peace. We are here to hold each other's hands in this cruel world, not slap them away because it's inconvenient or we are uncomfortable. We are not the judges, we are the congregation of earth. It's our duty to hold space for each other on our lives journey. How you do that is up to you. But even a smile a kind word, a hug, or a bottle of water to someone in need provides a ripple effect that creates the world we WANT to live in - a compassionate and peaceful environment where all exist with the minimal terroristic conflict. 

Look for opportunities to make this your energetic payoff. Look for ways to help others get out of their own pain and do the same. Stop the ego thrust and learn to balance your true needs. 

I am NEVER perfect but that's not a requirement of life. Being perfect is an illusory story told by those that 'have more' to keep those that 'have less' in doubt and fear. YOU ARE ENOUGH! 

You are worthy. YOUR life means something to someone out there... each and every day. With love, I send hope to all that feel hopeless, including myself. 

Friday, July 3

Learning to be Me


WHAT is Happening!! Being in lockdown mode has been a beautiful and frustrating season. This reflection period lead me to this question. WHO AM I!???

My choice to be a mother was such a GREAT one! I have enjoyed this ride - the ups and downs, the pains and joys. Part of my karmic path has been fulfilled in such a beautiful way. Something that occurred along the way, I dimmed a part of myself. This wasn't a choice I regret or feel cheated by. It's just a point for me to wake up and say.. OK. Where am I? Who am I? and what's going to happen next?

Throughout life we have these moments where introspection carries us to a higher plateau. Or even stepping down a new path. Mine starts here. Watch for more introspective times ahead.

Can you say, ROAD TRIP!?