Go Figure

So I decided to take a figure drawing class instead. I really need the practice in sketching and perspective. I was amazed at how quickly that all comes back.

I suck at gestures, but give me a fifteen-twenty minute pose, I do much better!!!

Onward. Watercolors next time around. If I don't get addicted to figure drawing.

more to come.

Class

You may have seen that painting I put up the other day. A good friend of mine has offered to watch my son one night a week so that I can go to a painting class.

Hallelujah! I have been missing painting for so long now, I can't believe that this opportunity is going to happen for me! I have her to thank. I hope I can find something to help her with someday.

OK. so, which class to choose? I am thinking watercolors. But I will keep you informed as to which I choose to conquer. Its time to start living my passion for art.

and while you wait, here is a SB sunset pic I took last night... enjoy.

Namaste.

Liz Meme

Another Meme from the Lizbet. This is it for a while people. No more taggin. K? K.

1. Black and White or Color; how do you prefer your movies?
I like both. I do like old Black and White movies, just don't see them as much anymore.

2. What is the one single subject that bores you to near-death?
Wow. More than one, but right now? Politics. What a waste of time.

3. MP3s, CDs, Tapes or Records: what is your favorite medium for prerecorded music? MP3's, and CD's

4. You are handed one first class trip plane ticket to anywhere in the world and ten million dollars cash. All of this is yours provided that you leave and not tell anyone where you are going ever. This includes family, friends, everyone. Would you take the money and ticket and run?
For one second I would say Hell Yea. But I have a son, and he needs me. And he needs his family.

5. Seriously, what do you consider the world's most pressing issue now?
Ignorance and Prejudice. It makes war possible, it keeps people that are in danger, in danger, it takes food out of the mouths of the hungry, etc. I see these as the biggest issues of mankind.

6. How would you rectify the world's most pressing issue?
I wish I knew. I have no concrete advice on how to rid the world of them. Communication and information dissemination is at a peak, but journalism is still involved with greed and prejudice. How do you end it?

7. You are given the chance to go back and change one thing in your life; what would that be? I would have slept with that sculpture artist in college. Yep. And I would have pursued my musical/artistic talents as a career more.

8. You are given the chance to go back and change one event in world history, what would that be? Would have saved Jesus from the cross, made him keep on going. Imagine where religion would be today if it wasn't based on martyrism (is that a word?).

9. A night at the opera, or a night at the Grand Ole' Opry” which do you choose? The opera. I love the opera.

10. What is the one great unsolved crime of all time you'd like to solve? Jack the Ripper.

11. One famous author can come to dinner with you. Who would that be, and what would you serve for the meal? Interesting. So many choices. I think Mark Twain (or Will Rogers). I love to have lighthearted warm and comical conversations at dinner. Blackened catfish, dirty rice, spinach and egg salad with bacon dressing, Bourbon and cigars. For dessert? pecan pie.

12. You discover that John Lennon was right, that there is no hell below us, and above us there is only sky - what's the first immoral thing you might do to celebrate this fact? Wait this is hell, because I can't do anything immoral without being punished. (and even people with great hearts and pure souls, get punished). So what is the question again? Oh. I just don't have immorality in me. Although, sleeping with Johnny Depp, who is a married man.. (wink to the I.C.) would be considered immoral. Like he would have me. HA.

13. If you could be anywhere in the world as you are answering this, where would that be?

In bed. In a hotel in Florence. and not alone. with room service. and fluffy robes. and painted toes... (sounds like a song).

I did this because Liz asked me to. If you heathens wanna try it, feel free! I saw it as an easy out for a Monday blog, seeing as I am in a total funk this month so far. Enjoy.

Smiles Ahoy.

Okay, this really sucks. but I am publishing it anyway.
_________________________

I'm tortured and troubled
I'm living in a bubble,
I am waiting in the blue
& your smile to pull me through.

gone on a ship to another shore
you left me standing at the door
there are waves washing the moment
away to another time from here.

I picked my battle to save myself
I wonder if you care?
have you taken a minute to think
about how you would feel standing here?

one day I was the world,
the oyster that you opened
to find a pearl inside, but now
replaced with a new grain of sand.

i have been closed back in there
dimming one by one the times we shared
my smile came easy when I said your name
and now I shiver by the dying flame.

call me dramatic or poor of sight
but I don't see a way to let go
of something that demands my right
to have a heart that sings my name

out loud in the sun and in the rain
unafraid of resonance, or reverberation
a place for my eyes to rest and relive
the youthful days love reminds us of.

I won't easily forget the day
or the nights that have passed
but i have to keep my hands inside
the ring for now. making a new painting.

smile for me, i don't know
how else to make it right
you have left this to me to carry
so carry it I will now breathing heavy.

A Selection

Just a few quick blurbs for today. Have to get them out of my head, and down on the virtual journal.

Meno posted about an exchange student. And mentioned a japanese schoolgirl mullet. Is this what it looks like?




Someone has hijacked my old Photoblog... How the frack is that possible?

If you want to access the new one, its here.

Does anyone know how to delete blogs? hm....

*

Poor Slacker keeps asking me to direct people to his blog. I am a bigger slacker than he I am guessing. Here you go buddy. I am informing my few constituents to stray over to your international exploits!

*

I am considering taking up some form of writing, but not sure which direction to turn. What are your thoughts here readers? Do you have any opinions about my writing style? Now is your time to make them known, good or bad.

*

Do you ever wonder why things happen, and in a series of unrelated events, all those unrelated happenings, all pieces end up fitting together? I always find that completely intriguing. Happened recently.

*

I am always excited when I hear from friends that I haven't in a long time. Its good to know someone still remembers you fondly. Exceptions? the kids in High School. I was living at home for a brief time, not to long ago, and ran into a few people that I knew in High School. I couldn't remember anything about them, including thier names. That sucked. Guess I have been living a pretty full life outside that arena. And only a few were really memorable.

*

OK. thats it. Done with the mundane boredom of it. Had to write, and it is written. Is it FRIDAY yet? sighs.

Das Interviewing

Some time ago, Ali did an interview blog. I offered myself up as bait. She finally took to it. So the following is a list of questions she posted to me. The rules for completing this meme follow my responses. Lets Begin!!!!


1) You moved from Texas to California a couple of years ago. Are you settled and at home?

I am not sure I am ever going to be the kind of person that is settled. I have moved many different places in the last ten years. I still have belongings in Dallas, Houston, San Antonio and Ft. Myers. I did find myself saying to a good friend the other day though, I feel like I have finally found a home. I don't know exactly how I am going to make it out here, as it is costly. I have some ideas in mind, and in the process of accomplishing those, I get to go to the beach, hang out with some really cool peeps, enjoy a fairly stress free job, and have a really great "tan".

2) Freelance work or 9-5 for The Man?

Being a single mom, I am 9-5 for the Man. The benefits are all that matter for the time being. Plus my job now, is really great, fairly stress free and the people are the best. They treat their employees better than any company I have ever worked for. And I have had myself some good jobs, Neiman Marcus, Ernst & Young, etc. I am going to ride this wave as long as it lasts. Until I start my own "vision" of what my ultimate creative job is. Next year starts that transformation.

3) What is your favorite thing about living where you do?

There are so many wonderful things about this magical spot. But, being a Pisces, with other water signs in my chart, I have to say its the beach. The ocean calls me out of myself. And if you have ever been to Santa Barbara CA, you would feel the richness of this area for yourself. Its an interesting place to breath. And living in a resort town, despite the costs, is kind of relaxing. Most everyone here is really laid back. Now to find my niche in obtaining some of that "tourist" cash flow. :wink:

4) How do you like your "new" D40?

That when it is in my hand, it feels like its a part of me. It fits there so nicely. I happen to believe that Nikon makes the best cameras. I love my camera. LOVE it. Its my escape sometimes. I can tell when I am depressed, because those are the days I don't feel like taking pictures.

As an artist, I create pictures and stories in my head. From the time I was a little girl, I have had some very intense and amazing dreams. And seeing as I don't have time to paint them right now, I am capturing future paintings. I find that photography is the most communicative way for now that I can transfer my visions so that others can understand them. It conveys the beauty, and aspects of life that I observe. No pretense or implications. I just look and snap.

5) If you could have lunch with ANYONE, who would it be?

Sighs. There is a LIST!

Athlete: Babe Didrikson

Actor: Johnny Depp (at the nude beach, with a blanket, an umbrella, some wine, cheese, sunscreen and a guitar.)

musician: Patty Griffin and John Lennon

Historical figure: A philosopher. Confucius

Artist: Rene Magritte and Van Gogh

Religious figure: God. the big entity. I have quite a few questions. :wink:

But, the most feasible of these? In this moment, with no doubts, I have a good friend that lives in Arizona, that I haven't met. I want to be in the same space as this person for just a few minutes. Well, an entire day would be best. :giggles:

___________________________________________________________________

Okay dear readers, here is your opportunity to expose yourself to my queries.

Interview rules:
1. Leave me a comment saying “Interview me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. I get to pick the questions.
3. You will update your blog with a post containing your the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Are you ready? Game? I hope so. I would really enjoy asking you the questions. Enjoy!

Preschool.

Summer is officially over. Fall is approaching. All visting company has finished for the time being. Hallelujah. I love you sis, thanks for the great weekend!

With that out of the way, today is a landmark day. Today is the first day of junior/mini-me's preschool adventure. He said to me this morning, we are NOT going back to (previous daycare provider's) house. And almost started crying.

I reassured him he was not. He was going to start at the preschool. Then he turned into an energizer/leaping bunny! I will remind him of this day on his first day of school, his senior year. HA!~ (and maybe every year, just so we have some "tradition").

Happy Work Week not actually Monday but Tuesday. :whistle: (that doesn't even make sense to me.)

Comment Moderation

Seems I have picked up a scab from another persons blog. A pathetic meddler, who has nothing better to do than to harass others. Unfortunately for my readers, that means I am choosing to moderate my comments, so that you don't have to read the barf he is depositing here.

I appreciate your understanding, and if you want to see who he is, I left one of his comments on the "Daughters" post.

Thanks. Ease on down, Ease on down the road... :whistle:

Daughters

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on the steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers be good to your daughters,
Daughters will love like you do,
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too

Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same shes been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now shes left
Cleaning up the mess he made

So Fathers be good to your daughters,
Daughters will love like you do,
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too

Boys you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong and
Boys soldier on
But boys would be gone
without warmth from
A woman's good, good heart

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world
So Fathers be good to your daughters,
Daughters will love like you do,
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers be good to your daughters too

John Mayer ~ Daughters
____________________________________________

I remember the first time I heard this song on the radio. I don't really remember where I was, but I remember thinking, wow. I had a father that was not home much at all, and so I barely got to know him as a man while growing up. I learned a little after completing my interview with him last weekend. Why do most men find it so difficult to be forthcoming about themselves? Is it something that shows weakness being human? Is it just something they have no reason to regurgitate? I understand there are differences between the sexes. I guess I grew up thinking that we were more alike than we are because I didn't have a complete exposure. who knows. And I am silly to assume that men can understand women either! :giggles:

That being said, I am sorry to 3 men that I have hurt (regarding my personal intimate relationships) for my inability to see you for what you were, and respect that. And not beat you up because you are who you are. I have no excuses only a realization that I could probably have done things differently, for myself, and for the sustaining of our "time" together in a more peaceable fashion. Water under the bridge. I still love each of you, but its done. You have moved on with life, as have I.

Now, I am in the process of molding a little man. YIKES! i am roflol, like that is going to happen. Its more like, show him what is acceptable and what isn't, punish accordingly, and give him tons and tons of love. right? RIGHT? geez.

men are different. i love them with all my being, but, very very different.

The Stupid Grin

You know when you get that stupid grin on your face for no reason? The one that says you are just so happy and you can't stop smiling? One of those plopped on my face last night. And now, I can't seem to remove it. Because, why would I?

I love the days when you have that dopey high school kid sorta smile on your face. All is well. One of my worries was relieved last night.

Its a good thing I have a great smile. Its going to be making an appearance all day today.

High Drama

Its sad to know (have to deal with the fact) that you come from an upbringing of High Drama. I have worked on removing my reactions regarding this environmental education, but seriously, its not that easy. In some ways that is a bonus to my artistic side. I see things in huge color and drama. But when it comes to dealing with men ie: any relationship, its not so good.

But I am getting better. Until then, I will be the last one chosen to play on someone's team, because I can't remain unaffected. I just can't. But I can stop making a wave pool out of reflective peaceful water. That I must try to accomplish. PRONTO!

A mother passes

I am happy to know I am the kind of person people feel like they can lean on when they need some strength. A good friend of mine called me this morning weeping. Deep long screeches, and moans. I knew what was happening before she told me. Then she said, "momma is gone". I cried. I knew her mother. Once a beautiful, sexy woman, intelligent, sassy, and wise. I also knew after being around her for a brief period, it was only a matter of time. Her diet was so so, she smoked like a chimney, and drank a lot of caffeine.

I sat with my friend, on the phone as long as I could, until she had to go. All I could think of was I wanted to be there just to hold her hand for a couple of days. And make sure that she was eating, and sleeping. And getting dressed, and getting out of bed, and take her mind off things for a minute or two. Take her for a long walk on the beach and ask her questions about her mom. Help her remember, help her forget. I am sad that I don't have the ability to go and be with her.

I feel like I do have a few good friends, she is one of them. Most of the time I feel painfully alone. My friend Wilene would tell me that I am picking the people in my life for a reason. That I am feeling alone, because I pick people that can't commit to being my friend. She maybe partially correct in saying that.

There are a few friends that can't be there for me. Some that are only there when they need something. Others that would be there for me whenever I needed them, night or day. But the one person who wants to wash away my tears at the end of the day is missing. I don't know that I have ever found that in any of my relationships. But in the end we all go out alone.

I hope my friend C. finds someone to help her heal her pain in these coming weeks. Despite this woman's demeanor or character flaws, she has lost her mother. And she deserves the shoulder and a strong friend to remind her what she has gained from her mother, despite her passing.

RIP Bernadette. I hope you have found peace.

Butterflies

A day spent at the Natural History Museum was a relaxing day. I took a lot of pictures. This one was my favorite.

I am worried about a friend. I hope all is well.

So Long, not Goodbye

Last night as I watched a man play guitar I realized something. No matter what I say to myself I still love that silly man I almost married. He was a ying to my yang. I will never be with him again, but I do love him. For all he was and was not.

Someone came into my life recently and showed me what love could be like. I have to let go of the "idea" of what love could be. There is no lilypad in the love pond for me right now. I must be the caterpillar, and the butterfly.

Dear Donald, I hope you are doing well friend. I will always think of you. We were one, and now we aren't. cest la vie. Life is a river that flows on and onward to the next tide pool.

Now for some lyrics. I love this song.

When you love someone - you'll do anything
you'll do all the crazy things that you can't explain
you'll shoot the moon - put out the sun
when you love someone

you'll deny the truth - believe a lie
there'll be times that you'll believe you can really fly
but your lonely nights - have just begun
when you love someone

when you love someone - you'll feel it deep inside
and nothin else can ever change your mind
when you want someone - when you need someone
when you need someone...

when you love someone - you'll sacrifice
you'd give it everything you got and you won't think twice
you'd risk it all - no matter what may come
when you love someone
you'll shoot the moon - put out the sun
when you love someone

Thanks for the lyrics, Bryan A.

Its Saturday

My toes are painted red.
My sunscreen is packed in my bag.
Today I am going to tan
then tonight going to see this band.

I hope that all of you have spectacular Saturdays.

no smile, yet. that just bites. sighs.

What makes a smile...

Why do I retain such an idealistic vision of the world? I put up a picture I just painted as a reminder that there is so much more to me than what I don't have.

Today I am sad. I am trying to let go of something. Something I want so very very much, but have to set it aside until things change. And I am working on building something back up. A trust that has been lacking for so long, I am not even sure I can get it back. One day at a time. I am breathing, being in the now and making choices for my higher good.

And smile? I don't know what else to say. I miss you. did i mention that i miss you? sighs...

May all your weekends be bright and colorful. Mine sure is going to be. I plan on keeping busy!!! Have to find a smile again! ;-)

Suggested Investigation

My lady of the couch suggested to me that I do an interview with my father about his life. She says, you will come up with some wonderful information about him, and it may help you solve some of your relationship issues.

I took this suggestion, created an outline, and am going to do a video interview. Then convert it to DVD to save for posterity. Basically its going to be a great documentary for my son to know his paw paw (that is what he calls grandad).

Wish me luck. I am going to take a box of kleenex. I love my dad.

Vacation

So my good friend is taking his second vacation to Hawaii this year. I am so happy that he is getting a break from his work. He way overdoes it.

Be safe friend. And take LOTs of pictures. send email. :hug: :hug: :kiss:

I am sick of me

Could I be more freaking self absorbed? I doubt it. I need to do some volunteer work or something. Get me out of my HEAD!

Who can I be besides me today? Suggestions? I feel like playing a character.

Disrespect.

I have pondered and pondered the issue of respect. I am closing the door on a decade of a downward spiraling in regards to self respect. You may have noticed I am working on retrieving some of that lost power. I have reawakened to the fact I am occasionally disrespectful to my friends. This is not the stuff warriors are made of and thankfully my true friends can tolerate my shortcomings.

I have yet to get a full grasp of the respect level with my son. I am very weary thinking about ALL the things that have to be done on a daily basis. And he knows what to do to upset me. Man talk about dynamics of a relationship full out. Become a parent. Social studies 101. All you never thought you needed to know, but are in the fire with the pot in your hand getting an education. This situation will change daily, and learning that I am the sovereign power, and not to be afraid of that, is a HUGE challenge for me. HUGE.

Anyway, so it leads me to thinking about how others are speaking and relating to me. What are my expectations? What do I want from my friendships? Am I portraying myself as I wish to be seen? Or do I even want to be seen? Most days I feel like swimming around people and just observing. Playing the part of a coy mermaid. Harnessing the power of making someone smile, then moving on down the stream. Leaving it behind.

I met someone last year that brought with him a lot of praise, confidence and equality. Feels nice be simpatico with someone again. He opened my eyes to something I thought did not exist. And I felt joyous each time we spoke. We are losing this connection somehow. I see transition as extremely normal but totally irritating at times.

I met someone else recently that makes no forthright statements or conversations unless probed with a stick. How does that make me feel? Like I am an ambiguous burden in his life. I don't have to make conversation, I choose to. He doesn't so much. Opportunity lost really pisses me off. But you can't make people play along. They have to go at their own pace. I am learning to respect his boundaries.

From watching myself interact and hearing a few things these two people have said to me and about me, I made a short list...

• I am way too anxious to set things up the way I THINK they should be. I need to take more stock of what IS.

• I can no longer waste my time trying to engage people in conversation that have little to no interest in me as a human. Their loss.

• I make condescending remarks. Others don't find them so funny. I am going to watch my language more closely. Maybe a point to remember here is the same things I relate to others, most likely could be related to me.

• My life is a bit boring. Possibly, people don't like talking to me because my life is not really filled with a grand amount of adventure or forward movement. This is my time for reflection and I have to remember not to beat myself up while I am healing.

• I am not as stupid as I come across. Do NOT underestimate me because of my lack of vocabulary. Artists tend to use pictures instead of words. Try to remember and assimilate. As we artists have to assimilate to you word junkies.

Now, back to the day at hand. I am a mother. And in order to get some respect in my house, I must have it for myself. Work work work. DAMMIT! my brain is starting to cry vacation. FAT CHANCE!!!!

Ok soul card number was 94. I am going to stick with that for a couple of weeks. It looks like something is growing. Something I need to grow from inside me. Respect.

Moan-day...

I am in a funk. The once a month funk. I normally am quite fine with this situation as in no massive mood swings, or off the charts outbursts. Today, I am feeling a bit burdened, nothing serious. Stupid woman stuff. I wish we had paid mental health days. I could use a day to myself, with a box of acrylics and a HUGE HUGE canvas to spill out the emotions in my head. Splatter the conditions of my feelings across a cloth, and see what the reactions are. Its so freeing, meditative, and cathartic. The more I do it the better I feel. But like anything else, you have to get started. Staring at a blank canvas can be daunting. Someday, I am going to have a studio. Its a prayer I have had for a while.

A wise friend said to me today, "I think you believe the world should be on your timetable and that people should have your priorities." Upstart. (giggles) Of course I do. After all, this is my universe isn't it?

I have to remember the phrase, one step at a time, with an addendum of, don't push. I know that everything happens in it's time and for a reason. I forget that sometimes in the moment to moment space. Getting better... its getting better.

Thanks friend, thanks talent and thanks universe. Without these elements life would suck.

edit: does anyone have some dark dark chocolate? anyone? its a solution. i swear by it. just ask my sister.

happy birthday

HBDTY baby boy! four years old... wow. Time really is going by so quickly. This picture is from the trip we made to the water-park yesterday. He must have seen some of the teenage boys doing this! It made me laugh.

Fun times were had, for sure. A more detailed post after the next day or so. :cheers:

Red Ranger

On a happier note, I am off to find some Power Rangers toys. The boys B-day is tomorrow, and I know that he loves the Power Rangers. They have Power Rangers SPD, mystic force, next generation, etc. He talks about the red one, and that is all I know about that. :cool:

happy hump day fellow bloggers.

an edit:

just so you all know. I have not contacted his father to seek any financial help, nor any of his family since the baby was a little over a year. And they haven't contacted me. its going to be interesting.

The Question I Dread...

So... the father of my little angel is not in the picture. He had an opportunity, and he dismissed it. As he has dismissed me. I hope that he is doing well somewhere. I have no serious resentment towards him (believe me I worked long and hard to be able to be truthful in saying that statement). He doesn't deserve the love of the mini me.

With that being said, my son is really starting to become a little person that can communicate, and understand. There is more discipline required now as he establishes his independence. I am actually very poor in at disciplinary action. I was hoping I could be stern and rigid without reaction. Most times I can, but sometimes, working alone, its an impossibility. And I can not beat myself up for my shortcomings. This path is one I have chosen, and I will remain strong to the cause.

Okay, now for the gristle. I was having to punish the little man, and he said to me, I am going to call my daddy. He is my friend. And he will be nice to me. Major league sigh. If he only knew. I had to totally regroup, because at this point in our relationship, he has not mentioned daddy.

I said, "Where is your daddy?

He said, "I don't know. Do you know where daddy is?"

I said, "I don't know where he is." That is the truth. Then I quickly changed the subject to discussing why Daddy was his friend and I wasn't. What Daddy would do that I couldn't do.

This is so difficult. But dammit! I am doing a good job, and I know this has to be hard on the little man to have that void. Soon he will be in school, and people will be asking him the same question he asked me. Where is your daddy? I have tried not to dwell too much on my reaction or answer to this question. The truth is best, but how do you tell a child that a man who will not take responsibility for his child, is someone that is loving, and good, but can't be here right now. That is just a lie. He refuses to be here. And I am fine with that.

I guess this is rough for a Monday huh? I am going to take each moment as it comes and deliver the goods upon request. With a smile, and some positive twist so he doesn't have a lifetime of self doubt. So that he knows he deserves to be loved by those that will and do love him.

I don't know why I had to be the damn character actress in this lifetime, but there it is. *Awaits Lifetime TV to call regarding the screenplay about her life*

working title: One Step Leads the Way

Mid Level Zombie

Sighs... I have been sleeping. And for those of you who have insomnia, you can appreciate that statement. Unfortunately, I have to take two different medications to get to that point. Seems that I have a mid-stage level of depression, and it is affecting a portion of my life. I can no longer "live" with the symptoms of depression, and must medicate. I have a son that needs my love and attention, not a zombie mom.

I went to see Dr. K. after having the counseling sessions for a month or so, to get on a daytime anti-D, lexapro. I hate anti-D's. I am nauseous, fatigued, my saliva glands are acting super crazy, and I get a bit of a jittery feeling. But, blessed be, I am SLEEPING!!! sighs. It has been 4 years since I have slept more than 5 hours in a row.. Most of the time I only have four hours of sleep. Last two nights? 6-7 before I woke up. Then went right back to sleep. SWEEEET relief.

I hate, hate, hate, and did I mention HATE medication. But today? I feel clear headed. No more zombie screams in my head. No more anxious moments in the middle of the night. My emotions have shifted to a more mid range level, but there is so much more to getting that back on track. I hope that this helps me get more into a daily routine of finding my way back to the creative me I deserve and need to be.

I am learning to not take this day to day life so seriously. Living in the moment is so VERY difficult for me. Perseverance is even more difficult, but life demands that I put on that body armor for now. Creating art, working out, and raising a child are my three agendas. And the anti-D's are helping me get this mind in a normal spot so I can focus on that sweet kid of mine. And the most important aspect, my mental health. Without that, this cruise is more like Gilligan's Island 3 hour tour, than a luxury schooner cruising these waters of life.

Wish me luck!

Looks for the life boat, just in case the ship really does sink.. :wink:

Tagged

Ok Songbird, I got your tag. And I have done the entry. I am supposed to tag 5 people, but I don't know how many of them will actually try this. If you care to, do it, and let me know.

1. Link about family: you know this blog is all about me. But here is a list of things I am thankful for, and my family is on there.

2. Link about friends: This is an entry about the on a website that I love (radioparadise.com). look for it here. I think that I should write a new entry about the friends I am making here.

3. Link about me: oh there are soooo many. but this one will give you the real down dirty of the most recent misadventures of an ADD mom.

4. Link about something I love: I love to dream. Happens quite a bit for me. So, if you don't read my dream blog, then read about this dream or this dream and one more.

5. Link about anything I want: ooo this one was an old entry when I was living in Texas and it always makes me laugh. because I can.

Stooopit Brain

You wake up in the middle of the night and off it goes... blabitty blabitty blab... This is this way, that is that way. shheeez. I sure need to figure out a way to stay in the moment. And get some sleep.

On to the next one. its Wednesday already? sighs.

What I saw...

Last night while sitting outside with a friend, talking and having a beer, I saw a white moth, a white owl, and my first shooting star since coming to California. So, is it just that I finally had a chance to sit and notice things? Or is it something else? All I can say is that I totally appreciated natures display of signs last night.

Symbolism:
Owl: The two main symbolic characteristics of the Owl, its wisdom and its nocturnal activity-- have made it represent perception. Considering perception in a spiritual context, Owl medicine is related to psychism, occult matters, instincts, and clairvoyance-- the true ability to see what is happening around you.

Moth: (this is all I could find) In a translation of an ancient Greek myth, when Pandora had opened her box and all the woes of the world such as war, famine and plague had escaped there remained in the box a small white moth. This moth was named ‘Hope.’

Shooting Stars: well, that one you are on your own to interpret. I just believe it was an exclamation point.

Anyway, maybe I just notice birds more than anything else. Maybe I have always seen myself as a bird, landing in a spot, building a nest for a season, then moving on. Or maybe all this was manifested because I was feeling so comfortable. Finally.

Not up to It.

I am just not up to writing an entry this morning. why?

• Did a marathon cleaning of the apartment, and only half done, worn out.
• Having a flare up of an old ailment, damn stress.
• Work is so slow, I don't have any brain stimulation to think properly.

I am going to guide you to another post from my not so secret "say what you wanna say outloud" blog.

I am afraid if I say much more I am going to piss somebody off. (and no smile, that entry has nothing to do with you).

happy mondays all! muchas besos...

Fiesta Flowercart

flowercart
Originally uploaded by memsahib 313

Saturday was the Children's Parade, meaning there are hundreds of kids marching down state street handing out flowers, dancing, riding horses, bikes, dressed in spanish costumes, and all saying "Viva la Fiesta".

This cart was done by the flower growers in Carpenteria. It was a nice day. I walked probably 4 miles or more. Had to work off the Kawanis club pancake breakfast!

hope all your weekends were fabulous. xo. mem

Private Universe

No time no place to talk about the weather
The promise of love is hard to ignore
Who said the chance wasn't getting any better
Labor of love is ours to endure

Highest branch on the apple tree
It was my favorite place to be
I could hear them breaking free
But they could not see me

I will run for shelter
Endless summer lift the curse
Feels like nothing matters
In our private universe

I have all I want is that simple enough
There's a whole lot more I'm thinking of

Every night about six o'clock
Birds come back to the palm to talk
They talk to me, birds talk to me
If I go down on my knees

I will run for shelter
Endless summer lift the curse
It feels like nothing matters
In our private universe

Feels like nothing matters
In our private universe

And it's a pleasure that I have known
And it's a treasure that I have gained
And it's a pleasure that I have known

It's a tight squeeze but I won't let go
Time is on the table and the dinner's cold

I will run for shelter
Endless summer lift the curse
Feels like nothing matters
In our private universe

Crowded House - Private Universe

Today I would love some time there. A private universe with a person I have come to be fond of. I know life is a day to day, moment to moment existence. But why not more? Why not? MORE...

Feeling like little Oliver at the workhouse, Please sir, can I have some more? All I can think about is the meal I am not getting. damn hormones. sighs.

WEEKEND! Guess I need to go scouting and be outta the house. Be safe, have fun, call your mum and make at least one person smile.

Peace - OUT.

La Pequena Ceremony - Fiesta 2007

Last night I went to the opening of Old Spanish Nights, or Fiesta as its called most commonly, at the steps of the Santa Barbara Mission. I was lucky enough to win a pair of tickets to sit and watch the show up close. I took my camera, and my tripod (which was a mistake).


The "Queen of the Missions" is a magical spot. On clear days, when you go up that hill, and sit on the stairs looking over the ocean, you can blur your eyes, and imagine landscape... nothing but trees that stretch to the ocean. I sit and think how amazing it must have been to be the first people there, building this structure. There is so much history, and I won't bore you with the details, but you can feel the spirits there. And they are exceptionally rich in that area. Many many lives passed that way. I wish my receptors were more fine tuned. I would love to pick up some of spirit action around there.

Most of the time I feel very relaxed and calm at the mission, but last night, I was a bit taken back by the events. By the middle of the performances, I had to get up and leave. I felt a lot of angst for such a celebration of life. And I like being around people. Maybe because I attended the event alone, I felt something "missing", not having someone to share the experience with. Because it was quite amazing.


Thankfully, I treated myself to that Nikon so many months ago, kept me focused on the events, and not myself. These are my favorite shots of the evening.

Viva la FIESTA!

Skipping a Session

I skipped a session yesterday with Kathryn the Great. I wont be doing that again. Thankfully I have a corner office, with a door, and my coworker is gone for a month. I can whimper in private today. I have got to develop some sense of community here. And I really should try to get more sleep.

moving on. :sighs:

Summer DayZ

After yesterday's little melt down, I feel revived. Thanks smile. :smooches:

So many things are shakin' up in my tiny life. I hope this roll continues through out the rest of the year. So hump day. I have to pay rent, look into getting a birthday present (sorry mom its going to be late... AGAIN! sighs).

Kids birthday is on the 16th. Don't have any big plans, so need to get on that. Maybe a day at the beach? On his actual birthday a friend has offered to take him to a water park. Now that is going to be a fun day! Thankfully my boss has complied to letting me off that day. Pouring myself into a suit, and going for a swim.



The end of the month offers up a chance to see Mr. Neil Finn... :hearteyes: Going to see Crowded House with a gal pal, that is moving back home soon. Will be a great send off for us. The ending of our summer of "love". We will be weeping for sure!

All that said, I sure am interested in lighting a fire with someone and it seems the universe has complied. Call me when you get home. ;-)

I am not sure

that I am capable of true love. I not sure I am capable of really being open enough to my own heart to expose it to someone else without hiding a part of me. The two or three times I have completely opened up, I have been hurt, physically and emotionally. And I am becoming bitter, well, maybe not bitter so much as reactionary. I see it in my actions towards the little things that happen in day to day life.

Here is a poem I wrote that was inspired by a conversation with an "at that time" good friend. Do you ever feel that full circle? Today is a full circle day. Yea. Part of my life has come back, full circle. Reminding me of a time when I should have walked away, instead of waiting till I had to run. Sometimes even the most difficult lessons are the hardest to keep fresh so you don't repeat them, because the pain was so deep.

I said to my friend today, men suck, you just have to learn what level of suck-age you are willing to live with. There really isn't a substitute. I asked my magic eight ball, does he really love me? Never trust the "wisdom" of the magic eight ball. Ever. stoopit magic eight ball. :giggles:

Diet Plateu

I have reached it. 25lbs down, and I can't get past that. I am working out, and doing "fairly" well on my eating. But I seem to be stuck. Guess its time to grow up and really stick to the regime. My other thought was, maybe include cutting out the carbs from my diet. Realistically, that is going to be very difficult for me, but if I want to get past this wall, changes must be made.

So in the interest of a leaner more "hot" body, I am renewing my vows. Lower the carbs and stick to the plan.

I hate being a grown-up. "pouts"

Pressing the Flesh

The more I get out of the house, the better I feel. I love being online with my friends, but seriously, if I want to meet parents and potential friends in my community, online just doesn't cut it. Well, sometimes it does, but, I am in the need of the "pressing of the flesh" time.

I may not be online much the next week, it seems exciting things have come about for me to do! This weekend, The Greek Fesitval on Saturday! Yea, I don't have a dime to my name, but it is free, and they do have food. YES! MMMMM gyros & halva & spinach pies, etc. A good day to take pictures too. I love people events for picture taking.

Sunday? I am going to TRY and drag my behind to church. TRY being the term there. I may just sleep in and go to the beach. get more sun. I love being tan, and it sure makes me look better. Its great exercise for the kid and me, and also, free.

Monday: laundry and find an outfit for Wednesday

Tuesday: off to dinner with coworkers. Sales meeting stuff. Going to the Palace Grill. Now if you are ever in Santa Barbara, and you like cajun food, and entertainment, GO. You have to wait in line for seating, but they have someone outside entertaining on the weekends. Twice a night they have a sing along with the entire restaurant, and toasts all around. FUN.




Wednesday: The reason I need an outfit. Each year they have a week long celebration the call FIESTA!!!! or Old Spanish Days here in Santa Barbara. Our company gave away tickets to various events, and I won a pair!!! La Fiesta Pequena. Isn't free good? (Goes to look for her tickets, hopes she hasn't lost them...) So going to try and find some kind of spanish inspired skirt or probably a top. And not to forget the flower for my hair! As I want to try not to look too waspy. :giggles: And this festival goes through the weekend. thankfully i live within walking distance of all the downtown events. Viva la Fiesta!!!




Hey, did you know that there really was a Saint Barbara?

Look for pictures. There should be quite a few after this week! I really enjoy taking pictures of people, and their events, and smiles, etc. A busy week. Finally!!!!! *remembers to take her supplements*

tally ho, and away we go! *puts on her smile*

a ship in the night

But do i take the ride? do i find the right course through an action that may be daunting at first? I know that it will definitely inspire me passion wise, but what will I lose in taking this option?

Weighing out all the details, and leaning on good friends for answers. One of whom never steers me the wrong way.

Am I right smile?
I know you wouldn't.
;-)

Busted

Ankles... yea, the support of the frame. I have a very bad left ankle. Wanna know why? maybe not, but heck, its something to blog about.

When I was a senior in high school, I was on my way to see the movie Grease, in the theater (yes I am that old). I was wearing a pair of Tiddie's sandals. Slippery suckers, I tell ya. Well it started to rain as I was coming through the parking lot. I stepped onto the sidewalk that was like glass, slid my foot straight into a concrete planter, and BAM. Busted the end of my tibia and fibula right at the ankle like a triangle. I didn't realize this of course until much later that evening. I was NOT going to miss the movie. NO WAY. I sat through it with a bag of ice on my leg. Spent the night with a friend, and my parents came to get me in the middle of the night I was in so much pain. The next morning they take me to quack doc, and he says yep you busted it. And seeing as it was summer, he set my foot in a cast that I could swim in. He didn't wrap my leg tight enough, and the resulting error is a constant growth of calcium buildup around that ankle.

As I have gotten older, and calcium build up has started resulting in muscle spasms around my ankle, and lower leg. I have been working out and trying to build up some strength in the muscles around my ankle. I fear it is time for surgery. BLECH! My issue? I have NO support system here. I mean, I don't have anyone to help me with my child, if I decide to do this. Time to start networking, or have my parents take him for a month... now THAT would totally suck! Oh well. Its time to start thinking about it and planning.

First step? See a doctor. ;-)

Weekend

I love living near the beach. On Saturday, we were there for about 4 hours. My tan is really coming along! I hope by this time next year to be quite a bit thinner so that I can really enjoy the tan. Working out and dieting. One step at a time, and I will lose it. Oh yes. Even if i have to do the Anna Nicole trimspa method for some of the months... :wink:

Sunday, Cold Spring Tavern. Fun times!

Tom Ball and Kenny Sultan have played there for some time I am told. They were a pleasure to watch. And quite humorous.
Interesting information, they had a map up of the Zaca fires that are consuming some acreage here in our part of the state. Rainfall was so scarce this winter, I am surprised that there haven't been more fires here. I worry that this isn't going to be the only one this year. *fingers crossed she is wrong*. You could see the smoke when you left the tavern moving southwest. I wondered why my allergies have really been acting up. The child had a blast meeting a new young friend, and playing in the playhouse there. And he was covered in dirt by the time we got home. He was crying because we had to leave. I had a good time hanging with my friends. It was a good afternoon, and made me forget the state of affairs that keeps my mind awake at night!

Anyway, this kid was under the picnic table playing hide and seek.

I feel Empty

Keep On Smilin' by Wet Willie

Well you say you've got the blues
You've got holes in both your shoes yeah
You're feeling alone and confused
You got to keep on smilin'
Just keep on smilin'

Yeah you're, you're 'bout to go insane
'Cause your woman's playin' games
And she says that you're to blame
You gotta keep on smilin'
Just keep on smilin'.

Keep on smilin' thru the rain
Laughin' at the pain
Just flowin' with the changes
Till the sun comes out again
Keep on smilin' thru the rain
Laughin' at the pain
Just flowin' with the changes
And singin' this refrain.

Singin' in a honkey tonk cafe
But nobody's hearin' what you play
They're too busy drinkin' anyway
You gotta keep on smilin'
Brother, keep on smilin'

Say you found a piece of land
You're gonna change from city boy
To country man, yeah
Try to build your life with your hands
And just keep on smilin'
Keep on smilin'

Keep on smilin' thru the rain
Laughin' at the pain
Just flowin' with the changes
Till the sun comes out again
Keep on smilin' thru the rain
Laughin' at the pain
Just flowin' with the changes
And singin' this refrain

You're just hangin' out
At a local bar
And you're wonderin'
Who the hell you are
Are you a farmer?
Are you a star?

Smile on through the rain
Laugh through all the pain
Flow on with the changes
Till the sun shines out again
Keep on smilin', smilin', laughin', laughin'
Flowin', flowin', flowin', flowin'

Remember this song? sighs. I don't have much to say today. I feel like part of me is missing, and I need to find it. Can't wait to work out the emptiness feeling in session next week. For some reason in the last 7 months I have lost the ability to listen to myself and reason things out effectively. It's nice to have someone else to bounce the bafflement off of. Thankfully she has mucho common sense. Putting the ideas into motion is one of the excercise's I am worst at. Because it involves... WORK. Oh well. one step at a time.

The post is so boring today, blech. I am off to the Cold Spring Tavern to hear music. I think that will at least take my mind of the emptiness I am feeling.

Happy Sunday all!

Got Lei - gonna picnic!

It's "give the employees" bagel and doughnut Thursday, and we get out of work at 11:30 to have the rest of the afternoon picnic! Theme? Aloha! YIPPEE!!!!! Everyone has on lei's or puka shells, and some kind of hawaiian themed clothing, (I fortunately don't own anything hawaiin themed, not even underwear. giggles)

I love my job. NO wait. I take that back. I love working here, and the people I work with. I really have a completely different vision of what kind of job I want, but its a tad unrealistic. anywhooo...

I had NO idea lei's were named after an actual hawaiin flower. d*mn I am a dense dorky dame.

Aloha boys and girls will try to have a pic and a story manana. A hui hou. Aloha nui loa

Open Audition

I am searching for a new mate. Someone that likes to smile, laugh, and generally have a good time. Must like all kinds of movies, popcorn and root-beer. Enjoys all kinds of music, making love in the rain, and long walks on the beach. Must be patient, like kids, have his own car, and a job (or his own income). I desire someone open minded, sensual, semi-creative and male. If you can't cook then you must be willing to do dishes and take out trash. Living within a days driving distance of Santa Barbara is crucial for those late night needs. Enjoys an adult beverage now and then, but doesn't end up in the gutter at closing time. Being mature and responsible are a given, but being impulsive at times is so good for the soul. So, sit down, take a number, and then we can discuss options and your requirements.

One final note, did I mention kissing? Because the position requires kissing, lots and lots of kissing.

I look forward to hearing more about your "qualifications". Thank you for your time.

Smile? you going to apply? ;-)

The Echo Chamber

Do you ever feel like you are screaming at the top of your lungs and absolutely no one is paying attention to you? yea. Now I just feel like sleeping. Been a good day for sleeping though. Feel like I haven't slept in 2 weeks. Making up for that today. Tomorrow is another day. I hope that I can exit this dungeon then.

smiles are fading... fading... fading...

The Lovers - Rene Magritte

The question to Magritte, "What were you thinking?"




“My painting is visible images which conceal nothing... they evoke mystery and indeed when one sees one of my pictures, one asks oneself this simple question 'What does that mean'? It does not mean anything, because mystery means nothing either, it is unknowable."
Rene Magritte

I love this artist. The only time I ever cried looking at a painting in a museum is when I rounded a corner and saw a picture of doves bleeding. Surrealism is my favorite style of art. I wish I had the skill and intelligence to accomplish it.

This picture talks to me a little bit right now. What the hell am I hiding from myself in this game of love? And what is my lover hiding from me? The mystery I fear will always remain unsolved. For I have never known a man to be completely honest with me. I hope someday a friend/man can prove that there really are honest men out there. I do have faith.

Ok smile. You are the exception. So it is noted. :hugs for you smile:

Dream On...

Check out this video: Bar Scene



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Sick Kid

No blogging for a couple of days. Have a case of the "stomach flu" going on with the little man. Which for some odd reason, has only made him act "ill" at the daycare. At home he is all energy.

I miss work. HA! see ya soon.

in sync

I have fooled myself in many ways during this life. I don't plan on doing that anymore. I hope that I am strong enough to be the woman I deserve to be. And wize enough to make the right choices over and over again.

love is wonderful, and magical, but life is practical. when I can find the right mix it will make the most wonderful recipe.

in-sync and moving forward.

A BlogGoddess

BarnGoddess gave me a Rockin Girl Blogger Nod.. and reminded me of a blog entry from a long time ago.

Seeing as I have to do a write up on the weekend, and not in the mood, I am fudging it. Go visit Barn Goddess. She is quite the gal.

Really Bad Night

That lead to an even worse morning. I felt like sh*t. And the one person I wanted to talk to wasn't "available", which is pretty much the case with that.

I decided to go and get my hair cut and maybe that would make me feel better. I love Leity. Will post a picture when I get home.

I should go out tonight, cuz I am looking pretty good!tee hee...

edit: Okay, do you love leity or what!!!! I really should wear makeup to work. :wink:

Horrorscope

Pisces (Feb 19 - Mar 20)

Your feelings may be somewhat uncontrollable today as the Moon in your sign aligns with erratic Uranus. But don't worry; even though you don't feel emotionally stable now, you're really not any crazier than before. Allowing your mood swings to take you for a ride can be quite exciting as long as you don't try to act on every passing whim.

Gosh. I feel so much more at ease!!!!

Fourth of July

I love fireworks, hot dogs, deviled eggs and watermelon. And this day combines all these and more!!! Be safe, have fun, and celebrate our independance. America may not be perfect, but it beats a lot of alternatives.

Peace and freedom. That is my dream. Enjoy!!!

A Passing

When I walked into my office today, I passed a co-workers door. The door was closed, and the lights were off, which was unusual for this time of day. Also, a small rose plant was sitting outside it. As I read the sign saying, "Please do not remove the personal affects of M.R. His family will come and take care of them", I got a very strange feeling. This person was pinnacle in his department. He is not someone that would have gotten fired. If he had chosen to make a career change, there would have been a going away luncheon on a Friday with drinks and food. So my suspicions were up, but I didn't allow any dark thoughts to enter my head until I knew for sure.

The printer I use is right next to his office. And as I was standing there, another co-worker who is in the office next to me says, "You heard right?". Right then I knew what I refused to believe was what had occurred. This man had been in a motorcycle accident and was killed. I don't know the details except that it happened on Friday. I had to come back into my office for a minute to be alone. I am not someone unaffected by the loss of people in my life, no matter how remotely associated.

Today? Cherish the people I love. Remind them that I care. Tell them I love them. Just this morning I was lamenting the fact I was terse with my child over nothing. I hope I can hold on to the notion that what I was upset about is not so important, and I should think twice about what I say to him. And I have to find what is right for me, no more f**king around. Love? I am SICK of wasting time. I am reminded today of life and how much I do love it. And how lucky I am to have people that do love me in my life. I can only hope that it won't end before I have been able to accomplish the few things I dream about.

Love yourself, call your loved ones, and celebrate life! We are the lucky ones. Thanks for being you!!!!!

The Beach

The ocean is so affirming. A wonderful way to spend the weekend days is at the beach. Sitting listening to the waves, and digging your feet in the sand. Making sand castles, and watching the people.

wanna join us? we are off to the beach. :motor:

Getting Played

Do you ever wonder if everything you have seen or known is just some kind of cosmic joke you have played on yourself?

yea. a bad way to start a morning. I need to get outside. Hope you all have wonderful weekends. I will be around.

:wave:

Your Body

Now if any of you know me, you know that I am a music devour-eee! I love love love the stuff. It's a form of religion if you ask me, but that discussion is only to be debated in "face space". I refuse to expound upon this theory without having music to work with or back me up. Ask any DJ friend about music and its possibilities as a religion. Go ahead. ASK!

So songs make up a big part of life. And different songs are signposts for different phases. We all know that. This morning I woke up with a song in my mind, Your Body is a Wonderland. Now, I am not a John Mayer fan as a rule, but this morning? This song... was... in... my ... HEAD!!!! And yea I got sleep so I can't blame that. There was a mocking bird singing all night though. That was much more soothing that the upstairs neighbor.

Hey smile? I got ya covered (in a deep sea of blankets). :giggles:

One thing I've left to do
Discover me
Discovering you
One mile to every inch of
Your skin like porcelain
One pair of candy lips and
Your bubblegum tongue

'Cause if you want love
We'll make it
Swimming a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break 'em
This is bound to be a while

Your body Is a wonderland
Your body is a wonder (I'll use my hands)
Your body Is a wonderland

Something 'bout the way the hair falls in your face
I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase
You tell me where to go and
Though I might leave to find it
I'll never let your head hit the bed
Without my hand behind it

Damn Neighbor...s

So, lets all take a minute to breath and smile. Someone pass me the sleeping pills. The guy who lives upstairs from me has obviously become involved with a gymnast. They wrestled and threw each other around last night for 3 f*ing hours. Now normally I am not the type to begrudge someone getting their "freak on". But when it keeps me awake until 2 am, and wakes up my 4 year old son TWICE because they were body slamming on the floor? Sorry dude, but you are going to have to move the action to some other location. Momma gets muy grumpy when she isn't getting any action, nor any sleep.

If they do this again tonight? I am going to leave the kid on his doorstep with a note pinned on his shirt.

Dear Upstairs Penis Romper Room Participants,
You are responsible for one day of babysitting due to the fact that you were rockin the floor so hard last night, after the 2 hour wrestling, slamming each other to the ground foreplay, I couldn't get any sleep. And my son woke up twice saying mommy? are we safe? Cuz he thought you were going to come crashing down on us.

I have given him an oil can so you can work on that creaky bed too. You got yourselves into this. Maybe this will be a good contraceptive for you. And you will think twice before practicing for a Vegas sex show in your apartment.

signed,
not bored, not angry, just tired, single mother in the apartment below.

Doubt this will win me any points, or even get to him, but man, I am so tired, i am having an out of body experience.

:yawn:

A Princess

At some point in my life, I would like to feel like a princess. When I was a little girl, I loved fairy tales. Grimm's was a book I read over and over again. I used to create stories in my mind about daring deeds, and far away places. Fancied the thoughts of being rescued from my life to be whisked off to a special place for us. (whomever the other is)

I don't believe there have been many days in my life where I felt like a princess. Someone that was adored for just being myself. (no offense, smile) Oh well. It's not stopping me from living, and I don't feel left out of anything. I just wonder what it would be like. For just a day. To feel like someone else would cherish me the way I deserve to be. Maybe I should start with myself, and the rest will fall in to place.

At least it would be a start. Sort of melancholy today after such a fun weekend. *back to reality*

The parade

This was my favorite picture I took over the weekend. Its going to take a little bit of time to get them all up, but a good amount of them are posted.

Enjoy them. The day was electric! everyone was super charged and feeling a bit on the raging side. Nothing out of control, just a really sensual day. The kids had fun, the parents had fun, it was good to be alive.

Next year I invite you all to come, sit and watch. Then go to the park for some beers and tri tip sandwiches.

Hey Smile, you gonna come?