Smiles Ahoy.

Okay, this really sucks. but I am publishing it anyway.
_________________________

I'm tortured and troubled
I'm living in a bubble,
I am waiting in the blue
& your smile to pull me through.

gone on a ship to another shore
you left me standing at the door
there are waves washing the moment
away to another time from here.

I picked my battle to save myself
I wonder if you care?
have you taken a minute to think
about how you would feel standing here?

one day I was the world,
the oyster that you opened
to find a pearl inside, but now
replaced with a new grain of sand.

i have been closed back in there
dimming one by one the times we shared
my smile came easy when I said your name
and now I shiver by the dying flame.

call me dramatic or poor of sight
but I don't see a way to let go
of something that demands my right
to have a heart that sings my name

out loud in the sun and in the rain
unafraid of resonance, or reverberation
a place for my eyes to rest and relive
the youthful days love reminds us of.

I won't easily forget the day
or the nights that have passed
but i have to keep my hands inside
the ring for now. making a new painting.

smile for me, i don't know
how else to make it right
you have left this to me to carry
so carry it I will now breathing heavy.