Ima-Fish

Last night at 3:30 am, the stirring of my man woke me up. He rose from bed for whatever reason, even though I sleep like a monster, snoring and drooling, the simplest movement in my environment wakes me up. After that happens, I remain awake, well cuz it’s the middle of the night and I have some overactive thinking to do in the dark. You know the drill.

What came to my mind last night was, he is not making any significant noise and yet, I was stirred from slumber. Is there something I don’t see about myself that is there? I started thinking about my sign, Pisces. Moon is a water sign… Rising sign? You guessed it. Water. Water. Water.

Then I tried to do as ole’ Arthur of the round and imagined myself as a fish. Where do fish live? How quiet is that? What do they think? How do they react? Etc. Is it possible, that any buzzing around in my environment makes waves that I pick up on? How sensitive am I to the world around me? In so many ways it is a bonus characteristic of my effectiveness as a human. In other ways, its hell on the mechanics of the “house” my soul resides in, always aware of the waves that surround me in any form. I pick up on more than I wish. I have developed a wall that I can erect when I feel overwhelmed. I fear that is cutting me off from what I need to see as well as keeping me in a quiet place. Also how is it helping others when I am not my true self? This re-opened up a door for me.

Tangential connection, can’t figure out why, this morning I noticed a coworker didn’t seem their chipper bright-eyed self. I queried and found out the issue. Instead of being my empathetic self, I was bitter and cynical. I want to apologize to that person and let them know it’s always hard to lose something unexpectedly. Trying to regain footing when a dream dies is a harsh sleepless session. Keep focused on recovery, and not the regret. No one is wrong during these times, its just not meant to be. Everything happens for a reason. Believe in the future and the right things coming along. Believe me. I have tested it and survived, as have others. Depend on your friends; they usually give you everything you need during this time. Do as much writing as you can, and don’t listen to ANY Damien rice. HA!

And in the words of the infamous dori (thank you Disney and Ellen), Keep on swimming, what do we do? We swim.

Coworker dream

I had a dream about an ex coworker whom i always had a secret crush on and he had one for me. He is married now with children. I was working at a retail shop next to a restaurant/bowling alley. He and his friend walked in with his daughter. We saw each other and immediately were drawn to each other again. I decided as I saw him leave that I wanted to talk to him about our "past attraction". He was in agreement. He said, let me drop my daughter off and we can meet somewhere. I "borrowed" a dress from the store I was working at, I remember thinking this style really is flattering on me, and got commented on as I left.

We met by the ocean. We were in a parking structure climbing wooden stairs next to the ocean. It was a cloudy day and the waves were high. We kissed and both realized we may have passed up a really great opportunity, but that our lives were what they are now. And I returned to the shop the next day thinking, I am going to keep that dress no matter what it cost.

Co-worker dreams!

Sheeesh.. Last night I had a dream about a co-worker. Not even someone that I am attracted to. Or wasn't... *giggles*

I had a dream he came over to my house to have sex with me. We got in bed everything was going pretty well. And then? He threw up on me. Everywhere. All over the bed, the floor, on his way out the door... WTF does that mean? All I remember thinking was this is just another mess I have to clean up.

Oh yea. He is happily married. with kids. Stup-it brain. :wink wink: