Things that happened in the last couple of days (and weeks) are unexpected. Surprise, sorrow, accomplishment, anger and joy. I realized I have felt settled into a "mudane" just following the responsibility sort of life. I used to be a huge firelight that was ignited daily by anything I saw in nature. I am the one that has let the fire go out, and coming back from the semi-dead is a difficult wall to climb. I have a son that needs me to be alive. I have a lot left to dish out and accomplish. Can't give in to the "weary" demon any longer.
One more lab test. Then a procedure to schedule. A bunch more pictures to draw... and a new beginning I feel will be coming in the next year. Am I prepared? My dreams tell me there are a few land-mine's that will trip me up. I have to remember to keep paying attention, forgive myself for mistakes, and learn when someone is blowing smoke to gain their own footing. My biggest challenge will be finding a place to have some alone time to CREATE! I have a child and man-child that suck the life energy out of me. I need a closet with white walls, directional lighting, paints, pencil, eraser and paper. And a few tacks.
Tis time for a new beginning.. and my mind and body are preparing for that, in dreams and reality.
OH and please... Order the book. we have 25 more to sell before we can break even on the "costs".
Thank you so much for your support... emotionally and otherwise. peace and gratitude.
Showing posts with label future. Show all posts
Showing posts with label future. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 2
Monday, October 27
Dreams
Last night i dreamt of living back in the big city. I was visiting a friend. (Yes it was the actor who played Frodo in the Lord of the Rings). We had gone out for drinks. After going back to his apt. passing out and waking up for work the next day i started straightening things up and people started stopping by. A couple of women friends. I realized that these were women that liked him or had been involved with him. I was started to feel uncomfortable and yet I knew that he and i were just friends. I wandered around his apt... walking up to the second level I noticed it was completly empty. A beautiful room with skylights on top of a building, but nothing was there. He was intentionally sparse. I started to question why he hadn't done anything. He said, I don't have the energy or the time. I knew that was just an excuse, because he was living on his couch in his living room. And he had a really good job. I started to propose helping him, but was propeled into the next part of the dream.
I was back at the bar we were at the night before. The place was huge, almost 3 levels. At varying heights, different tiers. the top tier was at the top of the building with beautiful views of the skyline. i sat down on the first level having a drink. I had run across the empty dance floor and jumped up to the second level to get to the top for the views. I almost tumbled over an old lover (George Clooney of course. :wink:) He smiled at me. Of course nostalgia and the feelings we had shared hit my heart. I said, Why did you move? He responded, I didn't want you to ruin my tux. I just giggled and said something like, You always were a bit finicky about your clothing, and continued up to the top of the building. He asked where are you going, I responded to see the sights. He said, This is my place. I smiled and said, I think I could have guessed that. He proceeded to show me around the nooks and kranniew. I found a couple of stilettos, not the same shoe, but one of each. I asked nearby customers if they were thiers. NO. So I handed them to "george" He said, Check this out, and proceeded with a long speech so everyone in the bar could hear him. He placed the shoes on a giant bookcase on one wall that was covered with books and "single shoes". He said, We have a wall here of shoes that people have lost over the last couple of years. feel free to take a look. As I placed the two shoes on the shelves, i looked over the shoes noticing all the styles and designs. Strangely enough in my dream? they were all black or red and black. I wandered back to "George" after looking, and sat at the bar, saying to him, What are we drinking, because I knew that we had a LOT of catching up to do. He ordered something and as I waited a waitress wandered by staring at me. I looked at him saying you are NOT sleeping with your hired ladies. He blushed. I said, darling, you will never learn.
WE proceeded to have drinks and laugh. I woke up.
Upon waking i had three thoughts. One: I am not beautiful enough to have ever slept with George Clooney, nor likely will i ever be. Two: I can never wear heels again. But i bet i could design some. Three: What is it about myself that reminds me of Frodo, and why haven't i finished the upstairs? Why haven't i tapped into my abilities?
I was back at the bar we were at the night before. The place was huge, almost 3 levels. At varying heights, different tiers. the top tier was at the top of the building with beautiful views of the skyline. i sat down on the first level having a drink. I had run across the empty dance floor and jumped up to the second level to get to the top for the views. I almost tumbled over an old lover (George Clooney of course. :wink:) He smiled at me. Of course nostalgia and the feelings we had shared hit my heart. I said, Why did you move? He responded, I didn't want you to ruin my tux. I just giggled and said something like, You always were a bit finicky about your clothing, and continued up to the top of the building. He asked where are you going, I responded to see the sights. He said, This is my place. I smiled and said, I think I could have guessed that. He proceeded to show me around the nooks and kranniew. I found a couple of stilettos, not the same shoe, but one of each. I asked nearby customers if they were thiers. NO. So I handed them to "george" He said, Check this out, and proceeded with a long speech so everyone in the bar could hear him. He placed the shoes on a giant bookcase on one wall that was covered with books and "single shoes". He said, We have a wall here of shoes that people have lost over the last couple of years. feel free to take a look. As I placed the two shoes on the shelves, i looked over the shoes noticing all the styles and designs. Strangely enough in my dream? they were all black or red and black. I wandered back to "George" after looking, and sat at the bar, saying to him, What are we drinking, because I knew that we had a LOT of catching up to do. He ordered something and as I waited a waitress wandered by staring at me. I looked at him saying you are NOT sleeping with your hired ladies. He blushed. I said, darling, you will never learn.
WE proceeded to have drinks and laugh. I woke up.
Upon waking i had three thoughts. One: I am not beautiful enough to have ever slept with George Clooney, nor likely will i ever be. Two: I can never wear heels again. But i bet i could design some. Three: What is it about myself that reminds me of Frodo, and why haven't i finished the upstairs? Why haven't i tapped into my abilities?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)