God or Goddess

Patience, serenity and gratitude surround a modern day goddess. She exudes compassion and confidence, a conduit for the love that binds the people of this earth. As she walks the path of enlightenment, she spreads the seeds of self awareness and allowance, paying it forward with each step. Accepting each lesson with a passion to reach for the next.

The Test

Haven't I passed your test yet? What is it that keeps you in a state of arrogance? I am not going to play this game anymore. You know where I am. You know who I am.

Go spear the other fishes hoping for a different outcome, all the while knowing YOU are the one that has to change, my love.

I may not be here when you decide to open that door to yourself. You have damaged my trust.

I love you. im sorry, please forgive me. thank you.

Foolish Heart

I am the fool
who keeps putting
pieces of my soul
into your hands
hoping one day
you see its worth
instead you smash
it with distaste
like killing a bug.

maybe my heart
will learn to love less
maybe i will be
spared connection
with anyone
live in solitude
lonely, peaceful,
and isolated
like you.

Distraction

I find myself viewing distractions lately. What is really important to me? Why do I care? How can I change things so life is more pleasant for me, which ultimately makes life more pleasant for others. How am I distracting myself as not to take on the changes that must be made?

I still have a long road ahead of me, and I know I will make it. How is up to the universe in so many ways. I am just going to keep plugging along looking for opportunities to find a smile. And knowing you are out there.

:)

FEAR

Fear is like a cocoon. It wraps you up and seals you into a stationary place.

Use this time wisely so that when you realize you are trapped ONLY by your own fear, you can discard the cocoon to emerge glorious; breathing in a fresh breath, swallowing a new life, and flying free towards a new and expanded reality.

Grateful List - Only Partially done i can tell you that!

Things I am grateful for:

ART

Physics

My parents

My son

My sister

My brother

Wake

Donald

Terry M

Mondez

John

comfy beds,

clean sheets

the ocean

trees

cool evenings

sleep

mustard

popcorn

cars

gasoline

Calvin my old cat

Organic Soup Kitchen

Drea

Anthony

Tony

Sunny days

Rainy days

bowling

baseball

alcohol

oscillating fans

kissing

bare feet in the sand/grass

sunsets

mountains

caves

horses

Dogs

sandles/flip flops

cotton clothing

skin care products

hair care products

love

trust

movies

chalkboards

warm water

ice cubes

doctors

holistic medicine

Self Awareness

I don't know. I spent many many years trying to understand who I am. I have an good base, but due to self abuse and other stressful self inflictions, I feel I should take some time to get interested in what makes me tick RIGHT NOW. As a parent I have changed. Its not a bad thing! Being more adult in my behavior and choices, its good.

Empathy and elimination of what isn't working, those are the two main goals for MYSELF. Don't take it personally. I have to try and stabilize a little...

xo

dumb shit

you know there are a couple guys in my life that really LIKE me. My son LOVES me, so he is excluded!~ giggle. Men, they think like gods, act like children, expect to be worshiped, and believe in their constitution without question. women? lets acknowledge men for who they are.

and I admire them for all they are. :)

How

i met the love of my life one year ago today. he is amazing, tortured, assholish, creepy and silent. i think i am abolished for all good purposes. he cant hear me anyway. its best. W is a hope. I do love him. He doesn't love me. Or if he does? There is barely evidence.

I don't know why life gives us all these challenges. These tests. I look to one side of my bed to see a young man, a mini me, that holds on to dreams. Its so great to try and believe in that again, and tell him not everything comes true. Boys are better at reality than girls.

One min, in my past, i was in a large group of people. A man asked me a question. I said HOPE. Thats when i realized, there may not be any hope in this world. I can see my son looks to me for his understanding of it. i hope i can follow through!!

How can i teach him to be himself? giggle. He is doing just fine with that because i teach him to not QUESTION who he is. Teach your children how to do the right thing. Everything else is cake.

Vulnerable

How can he not feel insecure?... i see each day how he tries to defend a sacred space. Unaware, uninformed, but wise, he tries to keep footing.

No matter how much I love him, we are far from ever being perfect. Life is an organic experience. I am thankful he has a nurturing experience there. He is secure with me.

One more day, and then another! I love you Austin. Im not perfect, but perfect to teach you. Keep asking questions. xo

dreams

this year, i learned a strange lesson. Dreams don't come true. Pick the dream that fits your purpose. Your inner light.

My dreams are very very descriptive of current situation, often coming true. When i was young, it scared me. Now i see it as an asset... My mind is fluffy as I get older. thats not a bad thing.

I have many wonderful friends that explain manifestation to me. Describe how easy it is for me to obtain it. They are so very right. What is my resistance?

Ill sleep on it for a day or two. xo

Ponder

you will always look for me while you push me away. it sucks. but i love you for your crazyness. it makes SENSE to me.

life is a series of change that reminds us that being human is a limited perspective. i have NEVER loved anyone as much as you. But I do know, thats not all i am.  Or that maybe someone else will see me as I see this situation You consider me a fool. I don't think that of you AT all.

i want you.  we need each other. fuck control. fuck life. lets live. and be as happy as we can before its over. or move along and let me the fuck GO already.

I am an empath, acknowledge that connection. and let it go too. ty love

Cinderella

All my life i think I have held on to a belief that as a woman, I would find that ultimate "love". The cinderella factor. 

I watch these moments of hope in movies and hear them in lyrics of music. I don't give up or lean into inability. I am aging, and realize my cute factor has totally worn off. I know that I am a mess. I know that I am uncontrollable. But I am here, I love with all my heart, I have a huge heart, and love life.

I can't hope anymore. The last man I loved and felt wholly connected to pushed me into a closet. I love him. I wont ever let that go, but I will find someone that feels that for me, without conditions. 

Lifes a piece of shit, when you look at it. But sometimes? GREAT things happen. GREAT things. 

someday

Someone is going to say "I love you" and mean it! that will be another good day. I'm grateful.

Parenting anger

I realize that anger is a momentary condition. Its effects last a lifetime in some incidents. I was a part of a real battle this week. A battle of will, and anger warfare. I felt infantile afterwards, but helpless to resist that temptation.

Becoming a parent was a choice I made. I know that I am not the best at this job, but I do have to say, this kid of mine will arise as an individual, a free thinker. Knowing to test boundaries, knowing that intelligence is the only key to his future.

I may not be cute, or smart, or even a good artist, but I do know, even when i frack up in some moments, I am an awesome teacher for my son. Evidence is stacking up, and honestly, thats what counts.

Bravo Austin. Bravo.

NO more

I have spent too many years in relationships that fucking starve or suffocate me. YOU aren't doing that to me ANYMORE. NO parents, no kids, no friends, no psuedo lovers (because honestly, if someone was your lover and/or cared about you? they wouldn't treat you like you don't matter).

Take your shoulds and make a bed you are comfortable in. Remember, its your bed NOT MINE. and don't cross me. I have an ax and currently unafraid to chop off your useless controlling opinions.

Just STFU

you know sometimes I should learn when to STFU~

I wish there was a freakin OFF button... sigh.. sometimes a girl should clam it UP!

Connected

miss you. stop waking me up from miles away only to ignore me, OK?

sheesh. thats kinda selfish don't you think? i mean if you even care.

healing

i never believed in manifestation, it just always was.
I never was taught you could ask for what you want,
but now I know that clarity is the key to manifestation

I dont know how i am going to change the worlds thoughts, but its meant to be. i am not normal. Maybe the Austin man will further my quest, or complete it. Its not his battle, but it is his heritage.

how do we love? the only way possible, unconditionally.

today

i walked outside
i felt the rain
i witnessed a smile
i thought of you

im just a girl in the world. you changed my life. i am so happy you did.

Dont Stop Believing

he is going to be my biggest advocate

he is going to be my promoter

he is going to be a father

he is going to be a friend

he is going to be himself

he is going to be joy

he is going to be us

he is going to be a survivor

he is going to be available

he is going to be independent

he is going to be LOVE

he is going to be disciplined

he is going to be truth

he is going to be my partner.

I must pattern my life to attain my desires. so it is written.

Rockstar

All my life, i had a dream of being someone that changed peoples lives, changed their perceptions. I had a specific vision of how that was to happen. I was going to be a "rockstar". Shining, a burst, an unobtainable force. Life showed me the reality of that gift.

Who I am... I am a light. How does that work? Its like going into a mine with a canary, a few batteries, a prayer, and some really great boots. You have to know that what you can't see is what you are looking for. You have to trust that each step you take is guided by the reason you exist. You have to know that you are changing the current, even if you doubt your actions.

How do we see the next move? Its always a feeling. Train your children to trust that feeling. Its probably the only thing that can save our sociology. Beef up your karma folks. Thats how the machine works, and the only way we can beat the forces that seek our individual truths.

I am asking for forgiveness for anyone i created doubt in. I never meant to make you doubt yourself. That may be the worst sin I know of. Thank you for allowing me to learn and grow. xo

Mental

I wish people would be straight out about their lives, their illnesses, their weaknesses, etc. Their land-mine's blow up in our faces because we didn't know NOT to step there. Unless we are warned, we are not AWARE of their land-mines. The warning system is often flawed, because as humans, we are full of psychosis.

We all have issues to deal with, some more than others. Fighting those each day and trying to find someone to be peaceful with, including ourselves, thats the struggle.

I love you bb. I am sorry that you are struggling. And when I try to reach out you bite my hand, or call me names. I wont disappear or hurt you... i just have to back away slowly so i don't lose any other important limbs. There is a child in my life who needs me to remain mostly intact.

Why should i care?

Today,  I must have hit a truth, and got slapped in the face for caring.

What I realized is that I don't want to date men that act less mature than my son. Why should I be made to feel bad about CARING about someone? Other peoples judgement of me means less than nothing. This persons reaction to me has caused me to really question if he has ever told me the truth, and is someone trying to convince himself I am something i am NOT.

I have no idea whats going on, but i don't trust him now. He can have his little secrets that aren't really secrets because I am connected to him by some freakish insight/intuition that creates visions and physical actions in my body. I sure as fuck didn't ask for it, didn't go looking for it, thought it was cool at first. Whether you believe in it or not, it happens to me. This is only the third or fourth person in my life. I feel like I am part of a bigger picture that HE is showing me but not letting himself be involved in, because he has control issues.

Im so lucky to have this ability, sometimes people can acknowledge connections and we become good friends. He has always tried to remain in touch, but it feels now like a "duty" instead of a desire.  I hate feeling isolated, berated and belittled for what I know to be true. I hope that someday I find the one that can take the ride with me instead of pushing me off the platform.

A shield...

The last exchange with you will likely be my last for a good while. No matter how much I love you, and how fun it is to spar with you, the arrogance and disrespect you have been showering me with lately is more childish than my young sons behavior! Its damaging my feelings for you as a friend.

No matter, I know what love is and I love you. I hope we can remain friends and you find your way back to a more respectful dialogue with me. Arrogance is no mans badge of honor, its a cowards shield. xo

family vacation

Because its TIME...

off to wine country to be the "designated driver". Its time to stop saturating my liver with poison. 

Woohoo! come join me, melanie, cruise director... 

WEEKEND!

i so have a weekend off. I sent a message to someone I would just like to see face to face again! hell i don't CARE what we do, or if he even has a new girlfriend, i just feel connected and want some time saying HI! with my physical body being close to that.

Im a sweet, uber intelligent, decent booby gal. Why do men push me away? sackodashious. i wish i knew some brave men. honestly. they never understand brave women though.

Im not like the women who hurt you, so keep that experience on a shelf. and learn a new one. one you always knew was possible. im here bb.

Awaken and shaken

Yea. one of those dreams. Had to do a check in asap, as i was terrified for this person.

hoping all is well. inside and out. xo bb

What

So. like 20 times a day I hear that word from every kid i talk to in this town... What? What? What? As if when I told them the truth they would hear me.

Look chitlins, stop asking and start looking around. I can't wait to rattle some kiddies cages! Making people think is the only reason I exist. I see it everyday.

Now, how do i make money doing THAT?

Oasis - Roll With It

happy

I need to get happy! However that is. I really want to get back to my smile and contentment in at least part of my life.

Money bogs me down, and lack of it suffocates me. Is there a happy medium? I work, and I do that for money, but I also enjoy what I am doing most of the time! I have some new avenues I want to follow there, and waiting on some funds to carry it out.

Believing is the first step. I need more adult friends. for sure.

Your Hands

From the first time I saw them, I really loved them. Your hands.  Damn that sounds stupid... but its what I think.

Last night in a dream you came to me and handed me a small seeded plant, it looked like a palm tree. I could tell it was you from your hands. thanks bb, for the brief visit... miss you and your hands.

I think when I am in my car

So today I kinda figured out that at one point, you really were kind and open with me, and it was so refreshing to actually see someone on my same mental wavelength i could talk to!   I know who you are inside, you have shown me in my dreams, and you still do. Past that time we shared time, you became distant, reclusive and combative. I don't mind absorbing your harsh, bb. Patience is one of my strongest virtues, especially with wounded people. At some point though, your capability to damage every relationship you have will over come ours as well.

Forgiveness is a virtue and a necessity, you have forgiven my stupidity time and again. I return in kind, although your education in the world exceeds mine, i have never been an idiot. You have to deal with me on an emotional level. Its just my empathic, psychic nature. i don't play games, i say what i mean. forthright and immediate. I see the world in that way. I hate makeup, masks, games, posers and fakes. YOu aren't any of those. I want nothing more from you than for you to smile as much as possible and be at peace and safe and find your true fun, no matter where it is. I never asked you for anything other than communication. I am so grateful for that spit of time when you thought i was worth it.

i don't connect to many people in this life in a deeply spiritual sense. i am as intuitive as they come, but this is different. when you decide to honor our deeper connection, we will be friends. until then? i will send my love, and you will be sarcastic and ridicule me for it. You'll never be able to stop me from who I am meant to be bb. I admire you full-stop. NO questions. Im deep, and so are you .... GET the fuck OVER it already.

good luck NIGZ...

Just so you know

When it tells me "YOU gave me love"...  I keep the notice so i can live in the moment of fantasy. I smile and smile and smile.

thank you for that sweet bb... you are awesome.

Intriguing

You know, christianity is based on a martyrs life. I think its courageous and all to sacrifice for your cause, have passion and conviction, but I don't think that "gods" plan includes suffering. That being said, I am kinda naive, in some ways, and totally optimistic. Its the light I was given to shine and use to bring people together in peace, mostly in small ways.

I can honestly say, that I don't have a solid belief there is a one "god". I have researched this in my own way since being a small girl dragged to sunday school. I love the idea of church, but i see its limitations and restrictions. I love the book, but its conditional and limiting. How can we move forward with new ideas and a redemptive future by living in the past and old ideas?

Who the hell is with me!!!?????

Ponderation

During the last year, my son and I have had many downs and ups. It has been interesting to notice reactions across the board.

Something I heard in a "TEDtalks" video yesterday really struck me.  Not the concept, but the way the man stated his views. People are deep seated in their judgements about why people are poor, in jail, on the streets, down trodden, etc. and trying to fight that is like trying to fight the ocean.

You never know until you are in the situation yourself HOW or WHY people are where they are. Remind yourself of that when you hear the voice of "blanket generalization" laying its trip on your perception and taking you down the judgement trail. Putting people in a category based on your opinion is ignorant, fearful and presumptuous. You don't know what their story is anymore than they know yours. 

And that doesn't make me angry so much as, it saddens me that we still live in fear of anything we don't understand. Some more than others. ;)

one line

I am bemused, confused, amazed and bewitched by you, bb.

Common Sense MW

When you allow yourself to be dictated by OTHERS actions

YOU are no longer yourself, You have become them.

Helping a friend, a bread and butter endeavor

Helping an enemy, an invested alliance

Helping yourself, your only defense

Remain true to you, my love

Even if I am hateful & angry

You will always be one of my heroes

I'll never abandon you. 

Werdz to some weird guy I know.

I was born into a nonjudgemental frame. I have become an environmental junkie. My mastery is the moment, my test is patience, and my reward is peace. There is no finding that doesn't fit. The puzzle was predestined on a card table that is bigger than my vision can allow. YOU found ME. I didn't ask for this and honestly? I would run if i thought that would assist my future. 


I don't know what you expect us all to give up or want something from you. I guess I do want something from you. Not in a sense you have ever known. I want to know you are ok. inside. I want to know you aren't afraid or alone. I want to know you have peace and can heal your life. I want you to know no matter what you choose, I'm going to give you that support. 

I wont deny that sometimes I will be angry or hurt. I wont be quiet or afraid when that happens, I will stomp and shout LOUD. I wish you could see how important that is. 

I think maybe someday you will. I hope its not too late... thats not bragging. I don't care about all that. 

how to diffuse a bomb

Just give her chocolate, a compliment and possibly an orgasm. Hormones might be in short supply.

He actually said to me

"I had to see who was calling as my new found status made me question whether or not I would answer the call."

I just rolled my eyes and laughed. I realize it was a joke, in some ways. He is the BIGGEST geek i have ever met and wish him all the happiness and wealth he can imagine, because he has worked for what he has, and continues to "beat the street" for opportunity.

Honestly, I  realize I am still learning how to walk through a landmine quickly and with stealth. He is part of that education. And for that? I will give gratitude. Each day has brought me a new way to see who I am is so unique and powerful.

One day I hope to write (or visually manifest) a manual of how to maintain dignity, respect and honor to self while reaching your ultimate goal, and see opportunity instead of dispair.

Dark Lady

You came to me in a dream,

dressed as death,

as an old woman in a cloak

offering me an apple.

When I invited you in

I put your apple on the counter

and finished making cookies

inquiring, do you want some tea?

You kindly accepted

we shared tea and cookies

you excused yourself to the bathroom

you returned as yourself

You smiled at me

I said to you, I knew it was you

then we laughed 

and you went out to enjoy your day

i tossed the apple and smiled

I know who I am

I know who I am to you

Ill be glad when someone feels the same for me

Call me irresponsible...

So, continuing to tell someone you love them with NO reciprocation to your extension of heart promises, how wise is that? Is that irresponsible? What would Shakespeare do?

Hell, I am NO guardian of the society of man, I am no preacher or life learned sage. I do know that what the heart wants, it wants. I do know that I wont fight that tidal wave because surfing it is MUCH more productive and rewarding.

Im not building a house for us bb, nor am i going to starve myself as you are starving me. I remain true to my words, and live a life that is moving in a direction that physics and science are moving me towards, receiving the kind of love I am giving.

As I have said before, Love without affection is like trying to grow a plant in the dark... long dark cold merciless hours that lead to death. I don't like that game. I wont play it. I wont stop loving you either.

Grow up, child, and turn on the light. Do it for yourself... no one else... heal. xoxoxo

Whistleblower or HERO?

Edward Snowden: the whistleblower behind the NSA surveillance revelations

The 29-year-old source behind the biggest intelligence leak in the NSA's history explains his motives, his uncertain future and why he never intended on hiding in the shadows

ttp://gu.com/p/3gec7


Anyone who has the courage to stand up in the face of atrocity has my support. I would front line for this man, and it saddens me to think how many people wouldn't. How is it acceptable to call ourselves a free state, when we allow ELECTED government to spy on us at any time of their choosing? Do you understand the risks involved, the opportunity for anything you do, including the kind of medication you are on, or any private personal information you discuss with friends or family on the phone, online, in emails, etc they could use against you in any way IF they got the inclination to do so? And what sets off a person to DO so? Sheesh. Forget the president, this is our PEER group, hired by a private firm which does business for our ELECTED government. Wise up americans, Wise up. 

Camping

I have to say I love it. Hiking, sleeping in the woods, the smell of campfire smoke, even the not bathing for a day or two is OK, thats my only beef with it, no shower.

I was there working on trying to get my mind off problems around me, loving people that ignore me, money issues that have plagued me for two years, and honestly, it worked.

Solution? More camping, and more camping attitude. Be who I am because thats pretty darn cool, as was attested to by the people that I was camping with.

Camping at the beach again SOOOn!!!!!!

Sometimes

Yesterday, I spent the evening at a party with some friends. I saw an unknown man walk in with a woman, and I swore it was someone I know. I mean honestly, it couldn't have been as this gentleman was older, and didn't say anything to me. And wearing shoes I know that my friend wouldn't ever put on! Funny that I would think that huh?

The woman came up and took my picture but didn't talk to me much, and didn't take anyone elses picture. ODD! Something about the entire "process" had my spidey senses all jumpy. I wasn't scared, or intimidated, but SOMETHING was up with that situation. I hope it becomes clear at some point why and what that was about.

Everything happens for a reason. Im happy and thats all that matters... Life is settling out and I am feeling more motivated. I hope my friend and I get to see each other again someday. Makes me smile to think on it...

xo

Do you worry?

Do you ever think on situations where you could have done something different, but you didn't? And that if you HAD done something different, you might not have missed out on something?

I hope this isn't the case, and I am not a worrier by nature. But I don't want to lose a friend because I can't commit to what I feel and how that affects me.

Is being just who I am enough?

Are you on this planet?

You know, people that have all the money and make decisions for the rest of us, existence IS Economy. You kill off the bees, feed us bad food, you are KILLING the economy. Counterproductive. Reorganize your "top shelf" by taking the rotten marbles outta your gourd.

Who Was I then

That day, the one that sparked it.

That day, the one that marked it in time.

Who Was I then?

How is it now?

giving into the joy of not caring, and moving forward.

Love

I know what love is. It doesn't scare me anymore than ghosts... What scares me most is when others feel it and hide it away, wont let it out. Disguise themselves as patrons of the world, defenders of truth, then lie to themselves over the smallest of things based on an original lie. One finger out, four pointing back. You are on fire. Your fear will not let go of the fire. The vision of what my water is capable of doing for you was laid out in my head BY you. Good luck lying to yourself about that reality.

My love knows no bounds and I am free to expand into the world. Your lack of faith in me has tarnished me dark, my darling friend. LOVE you.. and all you do.

Noticing

Tonight I thought I was finally having some honest dialogue with a person who called themselves my friend. Asked me a question, I answered the best I could. And finally felt some relief about this situation! I felt like there was a part of me that finally made some sense. A situation made a lot more sense. It wasn't necessarily what I wanted to happen, but honestly I care about this person and their happiness is more important than my desires.

As i lightened up very very much, my son said to me, mom you are acting crazy, like you are drunk. I was taken off guard. I started thinking, you know when i am drunk, i must act relieved and happy. And he hasn't seen me that way UNLESS i was drunk.

Wow, thats a pretty hefty reality. I am going to have to take some time to ponder all that!

ill get back to you as soon as I have more to say about that. :)

Mentor

I met with a SCORE mentor yesterday to discuss an idea I have. He was an excellent business consultant! No nonsense, very direct, gave me practical steps and advice. He did put it to me this way, You have to remember this is something you are going to spend your time doing. Make sure it something you like and are passionate about.

Part of me is so GUNG ho about moving forward, the scared part of me is trying to find reasons to NOT to.

My ultimate goal is to have a studio;
Painting,
Music,
Sculpture,
Computer,
Photo Shoot ability

This idea, if it takes off, (and it will) shall bring this piece into my life. I so need an organizer!!!!

Bring it universe. MOTIVATION!!!! xo

M

188

And today is the day I realize what that means... and how I can change it by just regarding myself. understand its my lifes challenge, that so much time I have spent disregarding myself, its time to ingest good foods, in amounts that I need, and not to feed something food will  never nourish.

Find what that is and nourish it.

April 4. 182

goal: 135

A MAN... i have a boy.

I want a man that challenges my mind, not my devotion.

I want a man that sees me and enjoys me being myself.

I want a man that is happy knowing who he is, even if who he is isn’t normal for everyone, 

in fact I would prefer him to not be like everyone else.

I want a man that enjoys sex, not perversion.

I want a man that wants to help me stay active, not by dictation by opportunity.

I want a man that is creative

I want a man that loves music

I want a man that communicates with me, no matter how mad we are at each other, or at the world.

I want a man that I can shower with love, without reservation. 

I want a man. 

Relationship Status

You know all your "personal" social media pages have a profile information box. One of the established parameters is your "relationship status".

And the only option ANYONE should ever choose? Establishing relationship with SELF! All the rest are just entertainment until I am ready to compromise...

RIGHT??? (thats kalifornication for the southern AMEN).

are you a friend

Sometimes people won't be your friend because they worry about what other people think.
Sometimes people can't be your friend because they worry about what other people think.
Sometimes people choose not to be your friend, because they don't trust themselves enough to stop worrying what other people think.

are you my friend? or am i just something to keep you from being bored?

I think that the people in my life I care about are wonderful... and I don't care who has an opinion about that, because no one else gets to live my life! its MINE!!!

BONUS. = o )

A DAY

Finally I have a day off... I am driving to the city to hang with my bestest married friends and gather intel about food. I am going to be out of there by 5 pm, and not back to my town till midnight...

BB, Meet me for dinner or a coffee... k? fingers crossed. xo

Adornment

I am not a woman that has expensive jewelry, and yet the pieces I do own are priceless to me… let me explain. Like some people tattoo themselves to remind them of some purpose, (or whatever reason they put ink on their skin, a custom I have yet to understand), my thought is they are marking themselves in honor of something or someone. For me that’s what jewelry is for, and I think there are others like me. 

My inventory: 

A claddah ring that was given to me by my father, I have had for years.

A moustache mood ring that reminds me of my son, and our joyful times.

A thin silver cuff bracelet that I have had since I was 25, and never taken off. It reminds me of a friend, and of my years on this planet.

A beaded bracelet created by a bed ridden lady that I met a few years ago, who has since passed on. To me that reminds me life is a shining light, never take it for granted.

I wear a “camel bell” bracelet that I bought on a whim years ago. It jingles! Sounds of any kind keep me sharp, and I prefer pleasant sounds.

I have a necklace with a crystal on it to bind good energy to me.

Earrings are simple silver hoops, as not to distract people from looking me in the eye.

That’s a small breakdown of what I tend to always wear. I would probably have more bracelets if I had more money. I love silver, it works for me, gold is too flashy and I don’t like its energy.

My love

Isn't like a blanket that will cover you and smother you

its more like a wind that will support and lift you

giving you a gentle breeze of encouragement

sending you a kiss and a  hope

wishing only the best of all you encounter

when you are near or far

allow it to be... love.

Shelter

No matter what has happened in my life, things usually go REALLY well for me!  Communal living has its perks! New friends, ready meals I don't have to cook, a structured lifestyle (something I am not used to, but it seems to help me and my son) and a place to sleep that is warm keeps us dry and with clean clothes.

Smiling is a great virtue. Finding happiness in even the littlest of things is always the way to see what is there. Kindness and allowance give me a safe place to be while I interact here. Now don't get me wrong, I know the world is full as just as much evil as joy, and I don't turn my eyes away from it, I just choose not to focus on it 24/7.

THE only drawback I can find right now? Elevator noise pollution at deafening levels. It does give me an unnecessary headache. Temporary, Temporary, Temporary... finding a solution to that vibrational disturbance is possible.