"Lucky that man whose children make his happiness in life and not his grief, the anguished disappointment of his hopes. "
-- Euripedes
Another Year has gone by without contact. I am not upset about it until this day. I have decided to get out of town for the weekend. We are going to find some peace at my sisters house. I am happy that we aren't going to be at home alone. I know it is what we both need. He is feeling the absence this week, because they are doing fathers day projects at school. He doesn't have a dad. Well, you know what I mean. He doesn't know why there is no dad. And he doesn't ask. He loves our family. But he is feeling an empty space this week. And maybe not just for himself. He has been sad. He has been clinging to me. He has been acting out. He is afraid to be alone places. I am at odds to deal with it when he wont communicate his little hearts despairs to me. I wish a dad would come sooner rather than later.
Fathers. Mine was a salesman and was gone a LOT when I was younger. I don't remember seeing him very much as I grew up. And when I did he was tired. Sometimes drinking. Most of the time laughing and playing music.
I wonder so many times about people that grow up without both parents. I made a choice not just for selfish reasons, but for spiritual reasons. This was my gift. I am very sorry for his father that he couldn't absorb his ability to share in this gift. But I am not responsible for the lack of respect and honor this person shares with the world. He has chosen his path. And so it goes.
My son is sweet and deserves all the love in the world. All life is rift with lessons and love. I hope that I am providing both with grace and laughter. I am father, mother, teacher and friend.
I deserve a raise... Any volunteers? :cheekygrin:
Happy Fathers Day to all the dads, and single parents out there! CHEERS!
You're killing me with this. I love that little boy more than words can say. And he is so lucky to have you as mom, dad, teacher, and friend. Don't you forget it girl!
ReplyDeleteHoop's nephew doesn't have a Mom. She was into drugs, left him with his father at three months old. He's four now and just the sweetest little boy ever. He said to me a few weeks ago, head on my lap, "I wish I had a Mom." It about broke my heart. Kids shouldn't have to go through this. It's just not fair!
ReplyDeleteJust so you know, from the little I know about you through this blog - I think you have a VERY lucky little boy who will grow into a very strong and wonderful man -who WILL be there for his children some future father's day. You DO deserve a raise. Kids. The most wonderful gift in the world - but the hardest job there ever was or ever will be. {{{HUGS}}}
ReplyDeletei love the little guy too! his face always makes me smile when you post his pic...
ReplyDeleteRobin: I know sis. He is a precious angel.. and a little devil too. all in all a great gift.
ReplyDeleteTink: I bet he is too young for me eh? sounds like a perfect match. they could have a brother. :ha: Thanks for the story.
Liza: you are the best. (big hug) Sorry I haven't been around much lately. Kids are work.
slyde: thanks bro. I tell you its fun sometimes. I am tired of discipline.
oh honey *hug* for you and your boy. i know your son is blessed to have you and your many hats/jobs all to himself. seriously. you are a good mom/dad/teacher/friend. don't doubt that. i know it has to be hard, but you're all he needs. he loves you.
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