There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love,
but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be.
Pearl S. Buck

Sunday, December 30

Jeff

Last night I had a dream about my ex, Jeff. We were together in a house with Austin, our son. We hadn't seen him in a long time, I think it was some kind of holiday and we remet at church. We were having fun with taking a shower, and watching baseball on TV. Lots of things were happening, Padres on TV... anyway, at one point we were laying in bed talking about love. The discussion I think was about how women and men have a Hate/Love situation going on all the time, we hate to love them but we do... I looked at him and I said, yea I hate to love you but i do. He said, yea you do.

I actually DONT! so, I am wondering what the message is in that vision? Who in my life now, reminds me of Jeff, in the sense of relationships? Someone I may need to let go of quickly as to not ride that wild stallion into self hatred territory again. There were a lot of truths in that dream! Things to look for, and be grateful for; friends, connection, judgement, peril, property and its value, but the impact of love most of all.

Love is a wrangley octupussy. So many things are caught up in there... I know what I want! Hands down, and its something I have felt recently. I realize getting to the point of having what i want means I clear up some life business, mainly work and settling into my true passion. I will just be patient to find him again, the man that is fated to be my partner, someone as uniquely odd and creative as I am, but with opposite strengths so that we can make each others lives easier and more peaceful.

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