November

One year ago this November I met a man that I thought was going to be a significant part of my life.  Significant in me learning something new about love, that I could believe in love, trust myself  and learn to relax in the arms of a man again. The kind of chemistry you don't find everyday, a connection that you can feel in a deep vibrational way. We spoke infrequently and made jokes, laughed, often saying the same thing at the same time. Sadly, he let his ego and lack of integrity get in the way of any long lasting friendship with me, even as he reappeared over time, it never gained footing.  No big loss, just another page in the book.

No matter how rational you are or astute or intelligent or experienced, when there is chemistry there is chemistry. Its a base element of humanity, physics as you will. I tend to believe more in the environmental science of a connection than its psychological base. This attitude lends me to be super loyal despite societal judgement or adversity. I see connection as a magnetic force guided by the molecules of our beings. We aren't afforded the choice of WHY something happens, its meant to. And fighting it only pushes it off till a later date, so deal with it now! Denial ain't a river in Egypt. (I hate that phrase, but it sure fits sometimes).

Courage people. its what life requires. And I don't mean evil menacing bitch level aggression, I mean standing in front of the tsunami again and again, KNOWING you could possibly lose an arm or a leg, and facing it. Not blaming anyone else for the choices you make. Not thinking you are going to lose by losing. Not letting the little shit bemuse your forward movement. Not thinking because you don't have what they do, you are less than they are. Not blaming others for your mistakes. Looking in the mirror and saying another DAMN fine day to be a human, and mean it.

November, you are the one year reminder, an anniversary, a refresher course in knowing that life changes everyday and possibilities are always around me. A simple premise. The knowledge that if someone else can't acknowledge connection doesn't mean it isn't there. It means that you trust yourself. You are capable of allowing that wisdom to draw you a bigger circle of hope, and attract closer to you a more purposeful being.

Be yourself, give life to connections, lose the fear of the things not working, and stop praying in the temple of WHAT if doomsville... That preacher gave his disciples grape kool-aid, You can do better!!!

The world is still revolving and last years love didn't last!!! Quit your stalling and get back on the horse to joy-ville... "Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death". lol...