dreams

Here is the an awesome dream.

I was living in a  really nice big house, nothing fancy but comfortable and old. 1880's old. Guess who came to live with me? My ex. My babies daddy. You know he isn't a bad man, he is a sick man. He came to the house and we were living together. He had come home from a long day at work. And he was a bit stand offish but seemed connected to me. And in this dream we talked about what was bothering him. He confessed to me that he always loved me and that he wasn't sure if i was right for him because of who I am. He stated that I was a good person and he wasn't sure he deserved me. He also said, that I had treated him in a way that he wasn't used to. He wasnt sure if we would make it because he is who he is and I am who I am (i guess that was his point).

I was so happy to see him (in my DREAM, remember that) and it wasn't a huge sex deal it was just a quiet evening in bed us talking and bonding. so peaceful. We agreed to stay together and make things work because we didn't like being separated. Our time together was so peaceful and wonderful. We just meshed well. and it felt like HOME.

There were other men in this dream. Maybe this dream was about me coming to terms with all my past relationships. Realizing in my way I loved and do love these men for what they are. AND even though they are history for VERY good/valid reasons, they changed my life. Heck one even gave me a kid! thats an awesome gift. Who I am is beautiful and appreciated. Being alone isn't awful, or sad, its just how things are for now. I will have love again, with someone who SEES me for me. And loves that about me as much as I love that about him.

NEXT! sheesh.... how did I get to the end of THAT line?