Grasping

I know what I feel and where I want things to go. I also know that I have never ended up with what I have wanted out of life, so why would I think this is going to work out either?

My faith is currently being tortured. No matter where I put it, I feel like its in the middle of a tornado being wind torn and shredded by the flying debris surrounding it.

My psychic Lori says Mercury is in retrograde and things will get better. I do have faith in Lori, but she has been wrong before too.

We all have free will. I have to find my strength in myself again and everything else will follow. Please God. I just need a break. Some peace and forgiveness for my stupidity. I mean I am human after all. I need a revitalization.

Please show me how to get back there.